Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Parenting Tips from Tim

At work. Ten minutes to go. It's kind of dull, but - hey, you know what? I just came across a news item today about how if you keep your kids out of the sun for all their lives, then their skin won't develop Vitamin D, and they'll get rickets or something.

Apparently, they only need to get a couple of minutes of sunlight per week. Whatever. I didn't pay much attention to that bit, actually. The important thing is, parents, you can't let your progeny sitting about bathing in the pale glow of the television screen anymore, growing pallid and listless, like the Eloi in Well's Time Machine. No! Turn the little sprats out into the sunlight now! And don't let them run around, either: make them lie on their sides while all those healthy UV rays works their way into your children's pores. Those children must roast! For their own good!

And don't let them come back in until they're red as a betroot!


Caz said...

It's all that slip, slop, slapping bizzo - now the little snotty ones are so darned covered up when they go outside that they miss out on all their vitamin D.

See, everything in life really is disproven evemtually - all you have to do is wait long enough.

Comic Mummy said...

I'm so excited to be in Tassie where the UV rays are so much harsher due to that good old ozone hole directly above.

All I need now is some decent olive oil.

TimT said...

A little sunburn never did me any harm (apart from skin cancer.)

I don't think they're due to discover olive oil in Tasmania for several years ... it's still bacon lard and dripping for them, isn't it?

Bruce said...

Tim! "Their red as a beetroot".

I expect so much more from you.

Fatman said...

It makes 'em crispy and tastier somehow.

TimT said...

Good point, Fatman!

Good point, Bruce! I'll change that now. In a minute. Soon. In the next day or so ...

Rebecca said...

Hi Tim,
Let these little computer geeks wither and die. If we had known this many years ago, we could have saved the world from Bill Gates.

TimT said...

This blog endorses survival of the fattest, as explained in Darwin's famous scientific textbook, 'Evolution of the Specious'.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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