SCENARIO: I am sitting at Coburg train station next to a middle-aged businesswoman reading a book. I am eating a fruit mince pie, with a takeaway cappucino by my side.
TIM: (Thinking) Gosh, I like fruit mince pies. They're really tasty.
Tim lifts the cappucino to his lips, and squeezes the cup a little too much, causing froth to spill out and run down his trouser legs.
TIM: (Speaking aloud) Nothing like a bit of lactate down the leg.
The businesswoman beside Tim laughs uncomfortably.
TIM: (Reminiscing, aloud) Takes me back to my school days.
Following this incident, I reflected to myself that this was an excellent illustration of the difference between 'think' and 'tell', and particularly instructive about those occasions when one confuses what should be 'thought' with what should be 'told'.
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Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- Mel...
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Croucherisms...
- Was two peas, now three peas
- Desciopolous!
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- Erin...
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- Gempiricalisations
- TonyT
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Jellyfish
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au
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13 comments:
You possibly need a "wit control" switch, so you can adjust your settings between occasions when slightly lascivious wit is appropriate and occasions when polite, anodyne wit is safest, although such an invention could lead to some dangerous malfunctions.
I probably would have smiled nervously and then carefully ensured that I did not get in the same carriage.
Or a 'twit control' switch.
No, not at all!
'twit control' switch?
That'd make you too powerful, TimT, most of the world's population'd be under your control.
Too scary.
Stick to the wit control switch.
I think you're right.
I can't control my inner twit at all. Like an undead zombie-demon he keeps on lurching out of my brain and attacking at the most inopportune moments.
I think it's an unfortunate feature of my own that just when I'd like to unleash wit, my inner twit comes out and makes itself known. Naturally when I most would like to be witty I end up being most twitty. It's probably some sort of curse. They are probably twins - Wit and Twit, or light and dark doppelgangers or something.
Perhaps the amount of twit surfacing is directly related to the attractiveness of the opposite sex present?
cute = too much twit
not cute = inner wit
In this case, you're doomed. Moo!
Or you could just blame it on the mince pie.
Moo!
And if they are really horrible looking TimT I'm sure many people can release their inner *&$! (rhymes with wit)
I specialise in twit lit, as you know.
Most people can't control their inner twit. And judging by the clinical notes I've read today quite a lot of people can't control their shit either.
[I blame this comment on word verification being 'microw'. My mind is stuck in a awkward place between microwave and microbiology. The consequences of which, were they to meet, would be several kinds of icky.]
Well, it seems many specialise in shit lit so I don't know if that's better or worse than your choice, TimT.
I was in Berkelouw's just the other day and I found (but didn't purchase, so can't review or even give a snapshot of) a hardcover copy of "The Not So Little Book of Dung"
I'm with forlorn, and I'm usually the businesswoman (kinda sorta, well, an IT drone who works in Corporate Land and has to look presentable) reading a book (Rogue Economics at the moment: badly written but interesting), and roooooling eyes occasionally at the kind of things people sitting nearby come out with!
And.. Maria, why didn't you buy the Little Book of Dung? You'll be regretting it for the rest of your life!
w/v = gesessi: How lovely!
So lovely, in fact that I forgot to enter it therefore w/v is now fradv. Not so good.
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