Not only are we coming up to Christmas, but it's almost the 25th of December! And you just know it's that time of the year again when everyone on the streets, in the newspapers, and in the blogs start talking about that time of the year again, and start doing and saying those type of things again that only happen at that time of the year (whatever time it may be).
In order to get into the spirit of the season, it seems it might first be appropriate to get into the spirit of getting into the spirit of the season. I therefore offer for your perusal and edification the following Officially Official Will Type For Food Christmas Checklist.
- Left-winger complaining about Christmas decorations being offensive to non-Christians - CHECK
- Right-wing paper complaining about left-winger complaining about Christmas decorations being offensive to non-Christians - CHECK
- Left-wing blogger complaining about right-wing papers who complain about left-winger complaining about Christmas decorations being offensive to non-Christians - CHECK
- Mainstream media article about the pagan origins of a 'supposedly' 'Christian' 'festival' - CHECK
- Parodies of the carol The 12 Days of Christmas - CHECK - that aren't as good as the original self-parodying parody that the song is - CHECK
- Evangelical Christians eager to remind us about the 'true meaning of Christmas' and Jesus - CHECK
- Agonising over what atheists should do at Christmas - CHECK
- Various bizarre commercial attempts to use Christmas to their own advantage - CHECK
Hooray! Can't you feel the spirit of Christmas yet?
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7 comments:
It is never Christmas unless you have some people not just agonising, but telling atheists "If you don't belive in Christmas, why do you bother, in fact why don't you go to work, force down the doors, sit in your offices as a sign of protest against Christmas?"
You also need some garish tasteless Christmas decorations and novelties, and a whole TV programme of Christmas viewing. It's not Christmas unless games hows have run their Christmas specials and hosts have turned up in Santa suits with their trusty little blonde girly assistants in little elf-suits, The Santa Clause has played on TV a few times, Chevy Chase has shown his "Christmas vacation" movie ... and so on.
I suppose Die Hard and Die Hard 2 are both worthy Christmas viewings too that get you in the spirit!
You know it's Christmas (or almost Christmas) when, every time you get in the lift at work, someone says "Sooo have you finished all your Christmas shopping yet?". Really, it's the only time of year that strangers try to be friendly.
Topiary Cow hiding in case she is mistakenly decorated as a tree-CHECK!
Moo!
If they try and hang tinsel or shiny baubles up on you, just moo at the top of your voice, and bare your herbivorous fangs at them. That should scare 'em off.
You start getting Christmas work party emails - CHECK.
I went to a lovely Christmas work party where I was asked to pay for the work party AND bring food. They docked $15 from me and a box of choccie biscuits because I refused to do as others did and spend the night baking lavish pastries. (Pastry makers also had to pay).
I found out my $15 went towards booze, music and a whole lot of delivery pizzas. We're very high class.
Cow would bare her herbivorus fangs at anyone wanting her to bake pastries and donate $15, that's for sure.
Let's take a bite out of Christmas this year!
Moo!
VERY high class. What kind of employer pays you with one hand, then takes the money back with the other? Weird. Also, wrong.
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