My meaningless, consumer driven life!

Some random facts about my mobile phone...

It has really crappy predictive text. Is hard to manouevre around as it doesn't have arrow buttons. Runs out of power really quickly. Tells you where you are, but more often than not lies. Doesn't so much as ring, but whispers quietly in the corner in a high-pitched voice, hoping someone will notice it. Also, its so hard to hear people on the other end that if there's any background noise at all, that I usually end up a) shouting, just to make sure I can hear myself b) constructing largely imaginary conversations based on what I think people said. The results?

*Phone rings*

TIM: HELLO?

PERSON ON OTHER END: Hello Mr Train, this is about your rent that hasn't been paid yet.

TIM: HI MUM! WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?

PERSON ON OTHER END: No, this is about the rent that...

TIM: OH, NOT TOO BAD. WE HAVEN'T GOT TOO MANY HOT DAYS YET, STILL FAIRLY COOL AND RAINY....

(etc, etc)

Conclusion: it could be time to get a new mobile.