Some random facts about my mobile phone...
It has really crappy predictive text. Is hard to manouevre around as it doesn't have arrow buttons. Runs out of power really quickly. Tells you where you are, but more often than not lies. Doesn't so much as ring, but whispers quietly in the corner in a high-pitched voice, hoping someone will notice it. Also, its so hard to hear people on the other end that if there's any background noise at all, that I usually end up a) shouting, just to make sure I can hear myself b) constructing largely imaginary conversations based on what I think people said. The results?
PERSON ON OTHER END: Hello Mr Train, this is about your rent that hasn't been paid yet.
TIM: HI MUM! WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?
PERSON ON OTHER END: No, this is about the rent that...
TIM: OH, NOT TOO BAD. WE HAVEN'T GOT TOO MANY HOT DAYS YET, STILL FAIRLY COOL AND RAINY....
Conclusion: it could be time to get a new mobile.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2017 (37)
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- Two interesting little words
- The lunch they have when they don't have lunch
- The bitter butter nutter
- Fashion tips from Tim
- Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding
- Literary criticism as a medical condition
- Yes, we still did
- Schmuck Friday
- The state of state poetry
- Multiple bipolar personality disorder
- Liveblogging the Lego Inauguration
- Words that will make transcribers across the natio...
- Haecceity! Pardon me!
- World of Warcraft limericks
- DIY Passive Aggression
- Worst thieves ever
- Always take the whether with you...
- Two essays, two words
- Sharon Gould's book of words
- The New Yorker book of numbers
- My meaningless, consumer driven life!
- What's the difference between discomfort and pain?...
- Terrible news for sex!
- Seven ways to say "Happy New Year"
- ▼ January (24)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)