Tuesday, November 09, 2010

How to catch things

A man: go up to his face and inhale deeply.

A cold: go up to his face and inhale deeply.

A mancold: go up to the face of a purple people eater and inhale deeply.

A ball: with your hands.

A football: with Gary Ablett's hands (rest of body not mandatory).

A taxi: with a very large hand.

A train: with extremely large hands, and gloves.

A falling star: with a black hole.

A meteorite that is going to cause colossal devastation to the earth: by consulting the timetable and being at the station a few minutes before it is due to arrive, except on Sunday.

A moment: with a camera.

A tune: with a somewhat unfocused camera, or possibly, a microphone.

A television show on when you are at work: with a mancold, and a television.

A fish: with a net.

An escaped criminal: by digging a criminal-shaped hole and waiting for them to fall in it.

An escaped criminal fish: with luck, they're especially slippery.

A period in history: with a history-shaped hole.

A runaway horse: by going up close to the face of a rugged manly-looking fellow from on the Snowy River and inhaling.

A wolf in sheep's clothing: with a huntsman in tree's clothing.

A nudist: with clothing.

A dwarf: with a giant.

A friend at a difficult moment: with an awkward pause.

A comma: with the hands of a linguistician.

A clause: with a comma.

A phrase: with a slogan.

A sentence: with a full stop.


Mitzi G Burger said...

You have caught my attention with this wonderfully apt post!

Cistern Harlot said...

Lovely post, TimT (but what's the catch?)

TimT said...

Well it seems to have caught on, thanks folks.

TimT said...

Mitzi, I note that sometimes the way attention is caught is through the courting of attention.

brokenbiro said...

Loving it!

But tell me - how do you catch a goo goo? (Or are you too shy to say)

TimT said...

Thanks, I'm not sure what you mean by goo goo... (I was wondering for a second if you possibly meant 'googlie').

Um... possibly catching a goo goo would be a boo boo?

brokenbiro said...

Sorry - must be showing my age. I was referring to the 1980's pop combo Katchagoogoo (Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye).

*gets coat*

Email: timhtrain - at -

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