Monday, November 01, 2010

An in-depth examination of some problematic issues

Meat-eating! It's a difficult, complex subject, fraught with problems on all sides of the debate. On the one hand, meat tastes so goooood. On the other other hand...and here we get into the problems .

"Eating meat is wrong", say some people. Fair enough. That seems like a simple, uncomplicated, matter-of-fact statement. But what if the meat was made out of marshmallows, such as with the Marshmallow Man as you may have seen on Ghostbusters? Then things get a little more difficult. Let's break it down into pros and cons, shall we?

CON: The Marshmallow Man is fictional. But then, other types of naturally-occurring meat could be made out of marshmallow - who knows?

PRO: The Marshmallow Man is evil, and not eating him could lead to him wreaking untold devastation upon the cities of the world, even if he is fictional.

CON: It would probably be cannibalistic to eat the Marshmallow Man, unless he could be scientifically demonstrated to be actually a different species to homo sapiens. Even then, there would be some doubts. I have no idea what my eight year old nephew eats, though I wouldn't be surprised if it was nothing but marshmallows, and it wouldn't be a good thing to eat him.

CON: Marshmallows aren't particularly healthy. As Christ said, or would have said if he was asked about the subject, "Man cannot live on marshmallows alone."

Also to be taken into account, CON, you may not like marshmallows anyway, and CON, why should innocent marshmallows suffer just for you or me, although, PRO, the marshmallow-man-flesh could easily be substituted for something else, like meringue-bacon or gingerbread-yak-ribs.

But suppose you really do like marshmallows. What, then, if the marshmallows on this putative marshmallow animal were made out of fish? That is another hard question. It is a hard, difficult, morally fraught question that torments modern-day society: 'why did people start inventing marshmallows made out of fish? They taste disgusting!' The answer we are normally given to this question is, 'maybe'. And I'm sure both you and I know what we think about that.

In conclusion, don't eat your nephew. Eat a marshmallow instead, with sauce.


Dan the VespaMan said...

Would it be unethical to catch a marshmallow fish just for the sport, and then release it back into it's natural habitat? What would one use to trap a marshmallow animal? Is harpooning marshmallow whales a disgraceful exercise?

The debate could rage for as long as it takes to make a cup of hot chocolate.... pass the marshmallows please.

Mitzi G Burger said...

Even so, what if marshmellows were made out of meat*?

Blessed are the marshmellowmakers.

*As a kid, one was warned about the non-kosher gelatin in marshmellows; it is alleged made from the scrapings of pig trooters. Perhaps that is what makes the marshmellows so dainty and springy?

TimT said...

Fish marshmellows belong where they came from. The marsh.

BwcaBrownie said...

just buy and read any issue of The Weekly Times.
Apart from being The. Most. Political. Publication in Australia, no intelligent person would eat meat after being so informed.
yrs truly, vegetarian Bwca.

(the dairy industry is pretty disgusting too - ethically, financially, and nutritionally.)

Dale Slamma said...

Yet another problem solved. Thanks Tim.

TimT said...

I confused The Weekly Times with The Weekly for a second. Well, not so much for a second as for 24 hours.

Yes, splendid, not a problem Slamma.

BwcaBrownie said...

This week the WT informs that due to the huge rice crop this year the factory at Deni is reopening.

and speaking of food, I Blog Searched for melbourne Food Blogs as part of a discussion at otherrants.blogspot and WTFF came up No.5

Do you get offers of free meals from Melbourne restaurants?

TimT said...

Ha! I wish. Getting freebies, that would be so sweet. Or, in some cases, savoury. Anyway, hasn't happened to me yet.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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