Calendularic collywobbles

In the course of a news report about disaster readiness in Queensland local councils following the floods and cyclones of January, the reporter concludes: "But the preparations are in place... just in case January ever happens again."

In this case I must make a sombre prediction: January almost certainly will happen again. Indeed, if the chronological indications that I find on my calendar are accurate, not only will January happen again in Queensland, but it will all over the rest of the world, too: and who knows how many Australians will be affected by this global tragedy?

Worse is to follow, for the slowly unfolding tragedy of January will be followed by its grim aftermath, February. Despite the best efforts of rescue workers and council officials, March will soon follow, with devastating implications for everyone who is implicated in the devastation. Here the predictions get a little hazy, but June, May, and April will occur shortly thereafter, making what was already a terrible situation even worse. However, thanks to the efforts of volunteers and council officials, July will occur; and after several helpful statutes are implemented in the Queensland parliament, August and September will follow. Thereafter, October and November, and possibly even December may occur, but we shouldn't get our hopes up.

What can we do to stop it? Who will protect us from this temporal terror? The answer to both of these questions, sadly, is, no.