Hot hoodlum date offer!

I admire the grand ideological flourish with which Julie Kirsten Novak opens this essay in Catallaxy on the rioting and looting in the UK:

It had not taken long after the first night of destruction of private property, peaceably accumulated over generations as a consequence of mutually beneficial market exchanges, across Britain by a band of thugs lacking self‑restraint for elements of the political left to absolve perpetrating individuals from blame for these perverse actions.

Barely a moment goes by in which one does not admire the private property, peaceably accumulated over generations as a consequence of mutually beneficial market exchanges, which makes all our lives so much better. Why, just this morning I was travelling on the piece of private property, whose functioning had been facilitated and perfected by fruitful intellectual competition in the infrastructural sector, towards the large metal object in which I perform a variety of services in exchange for a specified amount of currency of the common Australian variety, and I reflected on how pleasant was the other piece of private property, which was in the process of being accumulated by the Baron and me, though hopefully not over a period of generations, as a further consequence of further mutually beneficial market exchanges. And then I bumped into the wall of the train station and realised I really needed a coffee.

Anyway, you're all invited to submit your own version of that Catallaxy sentence, as applicable to your own life, in comments. Extra points if you can somehow end up blaming the pernicious influence of the progressive left by going off on a tangent.

Winner gets a hot date out in Tottenham with a social grouping of people who have been driven by economic inequities and class disparities to perform regrettable deeds, in a number of stores all over the town! That - or maybe a biscuit.