Whimsical topics for dinner party discussion

Meanwhile, this, from Thylacinowhatsimacallit:

Asked if he felt guilty that other residents had their cars reduced to cinders, the older man said that, if a resident had come out and said it was their car, the group had moved on to another. "If you leave your car outside when there is a riot going on, it's going to happen, isn't it? Breaking stuff is part of a riot, otherwise, it's just a protest."

It's an important question, isn't it, just what distinguishes a Riot from a Protest. On the one hand, you have a bunch of angry people shouting things and smashing other things, while on the other hand you have a bunch of cranky people smashing things while shouting other things. It's a small but crucial difference, and of course it's absolutely vital to to know this if you want to be seen as a respected and well-mannered member of society. Of course, you wouldn't want to get the Rioters and the Protesters confused with the Angry Mob, who I suppose can best be described as a hard-hitting group of people hitting things, hard.

I suppose it must be difficult, though, if you're a member of the Angry Mob, or the Protesters, or the Rioters, sorting it all out in your own head. Are they the ones full of a burning desire to smash things, or a smashing desire to burn things? It probably all depends on whether those things are made out of glass, or wood, or a combination of both.

These small but important matters are crucial if you are to make your way in society, so you'd better starting studying them right now, young whippersnapper.

UPDATE! - The Absolutely Crucial Essential and Very Important Guide to Things. If you are a Rioter, Protester, or Angry Mob, you should definitely study this closely:

Glass things - known for breaking.

Wooden things - good for breaking glass things.

Fire - good for burning wooden things.
(Note: you may not want to burn the wooden things if you are using them to break glass things.)

Store things - the things behind the glass things. You take them once you have broken the glass things.

Things - If you can't burn it, break it, steal it, or use it to burn, break, or steal other things, what good is it? Well, you might be able to use it to throw at other human things. (See below).
(Note: maybe don't throw the things if they are light and fluffy, like feathers or puppies, though.)

Human things - The things you see going about with arms and legs and a capacity for moral reasoning. This last one is a difficult concept for Rioters, Protesters, and Angry Mobs to understand, but after a long meditation they might be able to come to grips with it.