Accidents in the kitchen involving a can opener, a lid that won't come off properly, a full can of tomatoes, and a pale t-shirt are the best sort to have.
For best effects there ought to be someone sitting nearby ready to be suitably shocked by the unfolding catastrophe. This can be hard to arrange, but believe me, it's worthwhile.
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2 comments:
On a cold winter morn back in the days when poverty was inertia of the soul I accidentally decapitated a girlfriend with a rusty can opener attempting to open a rusty archaic Pre Roman tin of Heinzigogth Baked Beans. It was a terrible mess, with blood and all sorts of goo. On the upside of a sad tale - I had all the beans to myself. I jolly well hate sharing.
Horatio Thornpickle
That sounds like it was a dillybag of a thornpickle.
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