The procession of the proceedings in the due course of the due course

Upon the dawning of this glorious day, I rose joyously from bed with hope in my heart and a clear plan in my mind as to the proceedings that would proceed thereon. Briskly, I donned my best turquoise tracky-dacks, and swiftly I pulled on my luxuriant grey cardigan, before proceeding out into the domicile to proceed with my, er, proceedings.

To the Comfortable Couch I marched, and shrewdly set up shop there. A small porridge, two cups of coffee, and a short perusal of the internet later, and I was entirely ready for my plan to take effect. All that was lacking for my preparatory stratagems to come to fruition was this: a cat.

We of course have two specimens of this, well, species habituating our, um, habituation, but right at the present time (that present time being about an hour past) the felines were busily manifesting themselves in the garden, chasing after dear little mice, and hunting down various endangered avian species, and engaging themselves in various other adorable activities, and could not immediately be won over.

It is futile to procure a cat when the said cat does not supervise the procuring of itself, by itself. Although it may be possible to grasp said feline and carry it inside, it will soon find a way of swirling itself out of one's arms and will look at you with suspicion for many hours following. Trickery may from time to time be employed (calling them in for a treat), but again the end result will not be compliance or gratitude but suspicion.

Therefore, the only thing to do was to lay hold of the virtues of patience and fortitude, and to wait. I therefore determined to sit where I was - a very easy task as where I was was a couch - and do just that, until such time as a cat procured themselves.

And I sat; and I sat; and I sat some more.

I would have become entirely overwhelmed with boredom but for, on the other hand, internet, and comfortable couch.

Fortune, as they say, favours the bold, or perhaps in this case it favours the lazy, for, in due course, a cat did indeed procure themselves, and just the right sort of cat too*, and in due course of that due course, that cat elevated herself to a comfortable position upon my lap, richly covered in turquoise tracky-dacks, and proceeded to curl up, and shed all manner of hairs over my computer. 

And that, as they say, is that.

*ie one of ours.