How I Whined and Won 1 Wine

Spent five more taxpayer-funded dollars on Friday night to enter a poetry competition in Newcastle CBD. I was the second of five competitors. When it was my turn, I got up, read my poem with much spluttering and frothing about the gills.
I won.
Got a bottle of wine and the chance to spend still more taxpayer-funded dollars at the Poetry Slam in Balmain this September. Afterwards got pleasantly drunk with Dean (owner of the venue) and a dramaturg from Brisbane called Doug. We grouched for hours about nothing much in particular (ie, politics).
Poetry readings? Wine? Balmain? Quick, people, get me a job before I become a member of the dreaded chattering classes!

UPDATE - Worse things are soon to follow. I'm going to the opera today. Will the horror ever end?