How To Mix Your Metaphors

Letter in The Newcastle Herald by Hank Willems:

Lately there has been comment on the lack of truth in government statements. But the most serious political lie is that we have a strong econ0omy. The fact is that, every month, our balance of payments falls short by some $2 billion.

Okay:

Metaphor #1: the balance of payments... (I personally think this metaphor would work much better with a currency like the British pound, but there you go...)

Metaphor #2: ... falls short by some $2 billion.

Moving along:

If this is not a case of "apres moi le deluge", what is?

You tell me and we'll both know.

We are digging ourselves into a hole and heading for disaster.

(It gets better)

The only way we can ever square the books...

(Still better)

...in the long run...

(Even better)

...is by selling off the farm.

Wow!

Metaphor #3: ...digging ourselves into a hole

Metaphor #4: ...and heading for disaster

Metaphor #5: ...the only way we can square the books

Metaphor #6: ... in the long run

Metaphor #7: ...is by selling off the farm

Anyway...

Unfortunately, both federal and state governments are working towards this by encouraging privatisation, which will make selling the farm much easier. Australian politicians (as well as economists) remain silent. We must keep the ownership of our land, resources and infrastructure in our own hands.

Indeed. And now for the coup-de-grace, the anti-Apre moi le deluge, if you will!

I believe it is much later than we think.

Bravo, Mr. Willems! You've obviously been taking lessons in mixed metaphors from Paul Keating.