In The Unlikely Event of an Emergency

In the unlikely event of an emergency
Such as the plane falling out of the sky
Do not run through the aisle
Shouting, 'We're all going to die!'

In the unlikely event of an emergency
(Eg, the pilot turning into a salami)
Remain in your seats and stay calm
By practising origami.

In the unlikely event of an emergency
Like the plane crashing into the sea
Please hold back your cannibalist urge
To dine on the Hostesses for tea.

You may even survive. Do Not Panic!
(You may pray to your Deity, as well)
Though we cannot, of course, guarantee
That he exists, and will save you from hell.

In the unlikely event of an emergency
That probably won't happen at all
We ask that you trust us completely
Before death breaks your fiery fall.