Political arguments are not like normal arguments. In the course of a normal argument, several points are made and each person involved goes away feeling just that little bit smarter and more informed on an issue.
In a political debate, on the other hand, neither side understands what the other side is saying, nor would they care to. In fact, it's even rarer for a person making a political argument to understand what they themselves are saying, either. It is in this atmosphere of mutual incomprehension that the best - indeed, the only proper - political arguments are made.
Another thing. You should never have a political debate without consuming copious amounts of alcohol first. It's a well known fact that Bob Hawke would never have been one of Australia's greatest prime ministers if he hadn't been an alcoholic. It is one of the tragedies of modern politics that the great tradition of parliamentary alcoholism has gone out of style. The more alcohol is drunk, the greater the incomprehension and befuddlement*. It also makes a handy excuse the day afterwards - you can blame any silly things you said on the alcohol. I recommend martinis, and can personally vouch for their ability to stimulate a lively political debate in which mutual confusion reigns supreme.**
A final point - no matter what you say in a political debate, no matter how little you understand about the topic, no matter how poorly expressed you thoughts are, and no matter how great your confusion - you are always right. This point must always be remembered and, indeed, it is the only thing you ever need to understand during a political debate.
*And therefore, the more political the debate becomes - see my first point.
**Other good drinks are gin and tonic, brandy, and vodka. Avoid wine or champagne, which leads to excessive leftism, and beer, which results in Unionism. Stay right away from the coffee drinkers. They're communists.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (68)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Position Vacant
- The Pig Issue
- Happiness Concluded, for Karen
- Those Europeans Are Such Interesting People
- Stay Tuned
- What He Said
- I Am A Number
- Ways To Amuse Yourself
- Fashion Advice
- I Hope You're Pleased With Yourselves
- Darp v. Tim Blair v. Margo v. The World!!!
- Position Vacant
- Reading While Walking
- How To Have a Political Argument
- Ways to Make the World A More Perfect Place #6
- For All Mothers
- Random Horniness
- In Case of Nervous Breakdown, Please See Your Work...
- Tim Blair Goes Too Far
- ▼ May (20)