Thursday, May 05, 2005

In Case of Nervous Breakdown, Please See Your Work Supervisor

I started a new data-entry job today - it should go for two weeks or so. I've been reacquainting myself with those endlessly repetitive and detailed activities that make this mundane work so ... well, mundane:

Supervisor: Welcome to Niggle and Bludge, Australia's Premium Data Entry firm. I'll be your Supervisor for today!

You: Hi, I'll be your slave for today.

Supervisor: The job is quite simple. All you have to do is take this slip of paper here, type this up here, put this here, remembering to mark this here, and note this here, bearing in mind that when this happens to do this, when that happens to do this, and making sure to do this if something else happens. It's all very easy, really. Just don't forget to do this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and not that. Oh, and don't forget to sign this when you've finished. Productivity will be closely monitored. If you don't do this by the end of the hour, you will be devoured by a cage of starving nubile, naked, virginal blonde women. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

You: ...Oh... but why don't I just do this here? Won't that make things much easier?

Supervisor: You ruined the system! YOU RUINED THE SYSTEM! DIE, YOU FUCKER! (Takes out gun and shoots you in the head) That's not the way we DO THINGS AROUND HERE!!!

You: Sorry, just asking.

Supervisor: If you have any problems, just report to me, and I'll attach these electrodes to your genitals and give you a couple of thousand volts. Have a nice day!

So yeah, I had a good day.

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Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...