Monday, November 20, 2006

Welcome to the Internet

Someone got to this blog once by googling 'Natalia's ass'. Which Natalia? What ass? Is it someone you know, or did you just hear a generic story about a Natalia who left her 'ass' on the internet? Where - can I see? If you're looking for this Natalia, then you will find a lot of general information about her, but not much specific information about her ass.
Welcome to the internet, stranger. Did you mean to come here, and can I show you around?

It's both the precise and haphazard nature of google searches that get to your site that really perplex you. A person once reached my website by typing in something like this:


Boggled, that's what my mind was, not to mention hornswoggled. If this person had typed in one more A or three less Gs, would they have been taken to a different site entirely? Did they find what they were looking for? Are they alright?

Here's what my last twenty search strings look like. Make sense of them, if you will:

Last 20 Searchengine QueriesUnique Visitors
20 Nov, Mon, 14:39:11 Google Images: funny cartoons about food
20 Nov, Mon, 14:50:48 Google: semaphore lady first
20 Nov, Mon, 15:01:33 Google: "beware of geeks bearing gifts" "who said?"
20 Nov, Mon, 15:10:48 Google Images: Marty Worrall
20 Nov, Mon, 15:19:17 Google: LINKA AND WHEELER
20 Nov, Mon, 15:21:14 Google Images: boo bah
20 Nov, Mon, 15:24:08 AOL Search: How to be silly with a woman
20 Nov, Mon, 16:01:04 Google: difference between oxymoron and paradox
20 Nov, Mon, 16:01:41 Google: 3A
20 Nov, Mon, 16:27:35 Google: etymology "toe rag"
20 Nov, Mon, 16:30:24 Google: John Keats – “To Autumn” clouds bloom the soft-dying day
20 Nov, Mon, 16:30:57 Google Images: butt
20 Nov, Mon, 17:01:11 Google Images: butt
20 Nov, Mon, 17:05:59 Google: meg ryan michael parkinson interview youtube
20 Nov, Mon, 17:12:06 Google Images: aragorn
20 Nov, Mon, 17:13:36 Google: Mathaletics
20 Nov, Mon, 17:33:25 Google: delta goodrem conspiracy
20 Nov, Mon, 17:50:03 Google: meals in train
20 Nov, Mon, 18:18:45 Google: mathaletics
20 Nov, Mon, 19:15:19 Google: what type of food did the english bring to england

I can't claim to be a magnet for many pornography search strings like a few other websites (I think I have to up my quotient of sex and swear words to get that sort of thing), but my most common search is probably Google Images: Butt. This is the butt that comes up, not this butt or this butt; it's not a bad butt, just an ordinary, everyday butt.

I guess that's the internet for you: No ifs; plenty of butts.


Caz said...

Oh dear, your search / hit results are as boring as mine, you poor thing.

"difference between oxymoron and paradox" - err, a lot?

Tim said...

We get some really disturbing ones at Sterne. The other day we had "harry potter forced to eat snape's cock". Luckily we have a post that is about just that subject...

TimT said...

'Paradox' is a term for an apparent contradiction; an oxymoron is a contradiction in terms.

Well there you go, Tim. Sterne is the blog that delivers!

I may have spoken too soon. This was the google search that led to my website late last night. Rather disturbing indeed when you consider the almost one-to-one correspondence between one of the words used and my last name.

TimT said...

And presumably, 'paradoxymoron' = 'apparent contradiction in terms', or maybe 'contradiction in apparent terms'.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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