Apparently Kylie, the Australian woman most famous for being ordinary, is releasing a perfume: "Sexy Darling", the headline says, is a "seductive new fragrance from Kylie Minogue".
Seductive? How can something with the name of 'Sexy darling' exactly be described as seductive? That's like calling a punch in the face a subtle argument. If 'sexy darling' is seductive, then what other mysterious meanings are there in this lexicon?
Nice tits = subtle flirtation technique
Let's shag = being coy
You have a face like an old boot = affectionate teasing
Let's sing hymns at church together some time = expression of utmost contempt
Sex = pleasant entertainment to be had when encountering slight acquaintances
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- Mel...
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Croucherisms...
- Was two peas, now three peas
- Desciopolous!
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- Erin...
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- Gempiricalisations
- TonyT
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Jellyfish
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(316)
-
▼
December
(28)
- Things I did on my holidays, by Timothy H Train
- Important political post!
- Idle Novocastrian notes
- Unsolicited dog photographs
- Naughty Santa
- Words which I use incorrectly
- Ancient people you can relate to
- Tongue twister
- The Christmas that ate Christmas
- Getting into the spirits, getting into the seasoning
- The difference between 'think' and 'tell'
- Out of Zeit, out of Geist
- Aspirational junk food
- This is not a review
- All I want for Christmas is my teeth ripped out of...
- Nasal gazing
- Everyone talks to themselves, don't they?
- Better the Minogue than the Maxogue
- ...
- Comments with no post...
- Oxtravaganza!
- How to philander, one pat at a time
- The tap dancing won me over
- Very absent voters
- Cat of destruction!
- Utter flapdoodle!
- Creative uses of modern environmental concepts!
- His finest hour
-
▼
December
(28)
10 comments:
"Take off your pants" - subtly suggestive
"Big boobs baby! Yeeha!" - smooth flattery
There is a not-very-good movie called Shopgirl (Steve Martin movie) where a guy is about to have sex with a girl. She requests he wear a condom, he doesn't have one and doesn't want to go all the way out to buy one. He looks frustrated and says, "Do you have, you know, any jiffy bags or anything?"
I think the "requesting a jiffy bag" should have a special section in the sex and dating dictionary of its own!
By the way, here is some info on Shopgirl
I thought it was a little tedious and lacked chemistry; it was not entirely clear why the relationship with Steve Martin and Claire Danes came about. And some parts of the movie were over-explained. However the "Jeremy" character (who asked for the jiffy bag) provided the comedy. I think he made the movie ... well, move!
I saw Shopgirl when it came out. An odd and not very enjoyable film, but interesting in some ways. I see that Jeremy was Claire Danes original and rather hopeless boyfriend. Hmmm.
I saw it after reading and enjoying very much Steve Martin's book, Pure Drivel, a collection of comic pieces. He's got a lot in there, too, about infidelity and the break-up of relationships. I wonder if there's something he's trying to tell us?
Since everyone seems to be releasing a perfume these days, I wonder if this blog should do it as well.
'The WTF perfume is a seductive blend of dusty laptop computers that have been secreted away in decaying cupboards in cheap rental apartments, coffee, and shabby, never-washed, centuries-old handkerchiefs. It will provide your body with that authentic, lived in feel!'
Gosh, it'll sell out within hours!
You know, I could make 'Let's sing hymns at church together some time' sound like an expression of utmost contempt altogether too easily. SO easily, in fact, that I'm genuinely considering using it on people.
I didn't get your point with these though - Nice tits = subtle flirtation technique/Let's shag = being coy. But then, I grew up in Townsville and there they are - if yo see what I mean.
I'm coincidentally reading Patrick Suskind's "Perfume" at the moment. Resist the temptation to turn homicidal maniac in your quest for WTFF Perfume, TimT!
Coincidentally, I'm going to be popping along to the Lutheran Church this Sunday to hear Bach's Christmas Oratorio.
Anyway want to come along? Let's sing hymns at church sometime!
Have y'all read Road Dahl's 'Uncle Oswald' stories, about a randy old sod who tells tales about his sexual miscapades? In one he runs into a perfumologist who invents an odour that sends men wild with desire - Uncle Oswald promptly becomes the lab rat in this experiment.
Not that I condone it or anything.
"'The WTF perfume is a seductive blend of dusty laptop computers that have been secreted away in decaying cupboards in cheap rental apartments, coffee, and shabby, never-washed, centuries-old handkerchiefs. It will provide your body with that authentic, lived in feel!"
Finally! A perfume just for moi!
As for Shopgirl, Cow saw it at a film festival, and wouldn't see it again. Bleah. As for Steve Martin's real life, apparently another movie he made with Eddie Murphy where his girlfriend sleeps her way up till she is with Hollywood's "pre-eminent" lesbian, was autobiographical.
Moo!
I've been trying to track down the Uncle Oswald stories with little luck, though I've heard references here and there.
I think I've read a story Roald Dahl wrote that was similar to that story (I believe Dahl wrote some stories and then rewrote them and published multiple versions; for instance in his short story collection there is a story called "The Champion of the World" which is almost the same as Danny the Champion of the World but not as directed towards a younger audience).
In the story I read I don't remember a mention of Uncle Oswald but there was a perfume which a man developed and tested on his assistant Simone. She was ravaged and adored it and he thought ehr a slut. By the end of the story he lost the perfume, he might have dropped the bottle and had one last go at the crowd and then that was it.
I believe the story was called "Bitch" after the perfume's name.
I think you can find it in Roald Dahl's collection "Switch Bitch" (1974) short story compilation.
Love Dahl!
Post a Comment