That sound you hear is hundreds of Australian radio presenters agreeing with one another. The louder and the angrier they sound, the more unanimous their opinions are likely to be. Some presenters, indeed, are so similar in their similarities, that even their differences are similar. It's like two same sides of the same coin, if that coin happens to be similar to itself.
And look, just look at these two. They're the worst of the worst - Abraham (on the right) and Bevan (on the left). Abraham is the worst of the pair, and Bevan is the same. That's how bad they are. How can you tell them apart? It's like distinguishing between B1 and B2. 'Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Abraham? I think I am, Bevan.'
Still, with my transcriber's ear, I am able to tell you some infallible ways of distinguishing between the two. Abraham, he's the one that sounds like Bevan; and so does Bevan. Sometimes, too, they take it in turns, and swap, so that Abraham, who normally sounds like Bevan, sounds like himself; and Bevan sounds like Abraham too. Also, Abraham occasionally sounds like Bevan sounding like Abraham, and Bevan imitates Abraham imitating Bevan, or vice versa, not to mention vice vice versa versa, and vice versa versa vice versa, too. There. Does that makes sense?
Still, if all else fails, there is one foolproof way of telling them apart (it really is foolproof because it was devised by a fool, and even he couldn't work out what it meant). Bevan is the scrawny looking runt on the left with the glasses. Abraham, the measly putz on the right with the thinning hair. So there you go. Next time you tune into ABC Adelaide, just listen for the sound of glasses (Bevan), and the voice with the thinning hair (Abraham). Simple.
Abraham and Bevan: the two Janus-faces made for radio. God knows what they'd do if they ever disagreed with one another.
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