Wednesday, July 29, 2009

An open letter to the Universe

Dear Universe,

I have just discovered that I have worn my shirt inside-out to work today.

I humbly request that the entire universe turn itself inside out as well in order to match my shirt, as this would save me the trouble of nipping into the toilet and changing.

Also, I find it a little inconvenient placing town names to their states/countries of origin. If you could arrange as soon as possible for an easy-to-follow schemata (say, starting at the south pole and working your way up) by which town names are arranged throughout the entire world in alphabetic order, then that would be just dandy.

I appreciate your assistance in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Timothy H. Train.


Helen said...

Farking hell, please get yourself a gig in a national daily or sunday supp at least, PRONTO.

Also, I followed the link to this post via a facebook flurry about the dreadful Sandilands - and it was a strangely serendipitous comment, I thought, on the mindset of people like that.

The Universe said...

Dear Tim,

Get yourself a wife. Failing that, a mirror. Make sure you LOOK IN IT before you leave the house.

Yours sincerely,

The Universe

Steve said...

Gosh, the universe is now talking directly to Tim (peace be upon him).

Maria said...

I did that once. The shirt thing. Not the arranging towns thing.

Never had the courage to own up to it. I say good on ya TimT.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact I didn't have a wife either.

Never you mind, Superman wore his undies outside his pants for years and no one seemed to care. Perhaps it was because he could fly too, for which much is forgiven.

TimT said...

I did that once.

Just once?

TimT said...

Thanks Helen, Steve, Maria, and The Entire Universe (hey, the entire universe reads my blog, that's got to be a good thing! Not sure why it isn't reflected in the blog stats...)

Maria said...

I did that once. Well it was once that I noticed and remembered to change in the bathroom. There may have been times I sported it all day proudly and never noticed.

If you consider how long I've had a job and how many times I've been to work that's actually been to work that's actually a fair percentage slab though ...

Theresa-bean said...

bahahahahaha wonderful.
you just made all the cord-fumbling it took me to work the new non-wireless internet work at home worthwhile

RebeccaH said...

That's nothing. Imagine getting all dressed up and arriving at a nice restaurant for a special dinner, and then looking down as you're being led to your table and realizing you've put on shoes from two different pairs.

Ampersand Duck said...

I'd say nobody noticed, judging by the number of garments designed to look inside out hanging in the shops.


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