Back to worrying and wailing

Hello! I've been away for a while, but I'm back now and ready to get into a blog stoush, or make a small spelling mistake so other people can make a big thing about it, or grumble as if a relatively unimportant political event is the worst thing in the world, or get sworn at by trolls, or fulminate furiously about something a celebrity said that I don't agree with. Yes, Christmas and New Year celebrations, and the designated season of happiness that goes with them, is officially over, and we can all get back to what we like best - being miserable. Here were the official events of the year, as can be seen on any standardised calendar:

JANUARY - Worrying and wailing

FEBRUARY - Dreariments and dolefulness

MARCH - Sombreness and solemnity

APRIL - Gloominess and grimness

MAY - Horror and hellishness

JUNE - Awkwardness and anxiety

JULY - Nervousness and nagging

AUGUST - Darkness and despair

SEPTEMBER - Terror and torment

OCTOBER - Maudlin melancholy

NOVEMBER - Lugubrious lamentations

DECEMBER - HAPPINESS!

Well we can all breathe a big sigh of relief now that's over. On reflection, my proudest moment of the general Christmas celebrations was playing a Scrabble game with several younger rellies in which we all managed to get a swear word on the board. Excellent.

So, how have you all been? Read any depressing newspaper stories lately?

UPDATE! - I know what we can have a fight about! Remember a couple of years ago when Patrick McCauley published an Australia Day poem in The Australian and there was a bit of a stoush on the blogs about it? Well I heard McCauley read it out yesterday in the Edinburgh Gardens - and rather enjoyed it. Horrifying! Go on, start abusing me.