Chap off the old block

Have you noticed your lips lately becoming

1. Dry?

2. Cracked?

3. Sore?

4. Taking long walks along the city street while you are not looking, with a Spectator in one hand (even though they don't have hands), an umbrella in the other, a hat on their heads (though they don't have heads either, obviously) before jumping into a ramshackle little jalopy and going for a jolly drive through the countryside, and popping into a delightful little rural pub and chatting until the wee hours with a whole bunch of other lips that have been doing the same thing?

5. Flaking?

Well you may be suffering from CHAPPED LIPS. Don't worry, it happens to lots of people.

Don't even bother treating them, just go along for the ride. You might meet some great lips! And some of the people might be alright as well.