Sunday, February 13, 2011

Smoking loudly on a moving zine fair

Don't travel without a valid ticket. Don't put your feet on the seats. Don't drink alcohol. Don't smoke. Don't jump on or off of a moving vehicle.

Geeze, they won't let you have any fun on the train now, (I said to the kid as he was reading out the big sticker with all those rules and stuff on it on the train yesterday.) Back in my day, you could smoke and drink on the train with an invalid ticket while jumping off a moving vehicle at the same time as picking your nose, and nobody would even COMPLAIN about it. And the more moving the vehicle was the better. So what if you lost an arm in the process? That would make the whole thing even more moving. (Okay, by this time I'm pretty sure I wasn't saying this to the kid, but I was certainly thinking it loudly).

These days, of course, it's all going to hell in a handbasket. You can't do anything, not even the things that you think you can do, like smoking alcohol or jumping on and off a moving cigarette, or picking your nose with an invalid ticket. There'll always be some Negative Nanny-state Nelly no-no-ing the whole thing, and you'll get done for being racist, or something. (Don't worry, by this time the train had gone past Clifton Hill and the kid and his mother had gotten off. I'm pretty sure it wasn't my loud thinking that did it.)

What was I thinking loudly on the train for anyway? I was coming back from the zine fair, that's why. I didn't tell you about the zine fair? That's right, but I certainly meant to have told you, and invited you to it. So I might as well do it now. (Back in my day, you could invite people to events that were back in my day, anyway). Come to the zine fair that has already happened, people, and meet me and a whole bunch of other people and buy some zines! Not only can I say it will have been an exciting event to have attended in the past, but having been there myself I can only add that it certainly lived up to some expectations. So do come along yesterday and help to have made it the thing of beauty that it certainly was (or possibly will be)!

All right. You can all go back to thinking loudly about smoking a moving vehicle, or something like that. This has been another blog post by Tim.

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