There are some things I quite like about my job. These things usually are completely unrelated to things customers and clients might be interested in, problems like the correct way of spelling words that have been made up on the spot by Doctor Seuss, or finding the name of a back street in an obscure country town, ideally in the most unimportant and uninhabited state or territory possible. There's something about the obscurity, pointlessness, and absurdity of these tasks that delights me.
Then there are the other things, such as, for example, the Personwhogoesontheradioeventhoughtheydon'tknowwhatthey'retalkingaboutandbeginstotalkaboutit-anyway - at great length. Oh, I'm sure you know who I'm talking about; every place in the world has a few examples. Those Personswhogoontheradioetc are pretty bloody annoying, I have to say.
But they can have unexpected uses.
Awkward Answers To Radio Questions - a haiku sequence
Well, you know, sort of,
I gather that, actually,
You know, you see, no.
Yes, you see, the thing
Is, as you know, um, sort of...
Pardon me, er, no.
Of course, actually,
Obviously, as it is,
I don't really know.
As I was saying,
You know, without a doubt....
What were you asking?
(Pauses for sixteen syllables)
That's a really good
Question. I'll read that report
And get back to you.
Ah, well, ooh, ha ha,
Um, hmm, er, let's see, you know,
Ah... ah... ah... well... no.
Oh, sorry. I've run
Out of time. Lovely to
Be on your program.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- Rong and write
- How to spell 'hmm' in seventeen syllables
- Eye see
- If they're uncontacted, how about spectacles?
- Dictionary of words that scrabble doesn't accept b...
- Question for the day
- With single minded pedantry, waging a war against ...
- A rather civilised song
- Here I sit! I can do no other! Except possibly sta...
- Smoking loudly on a moving zine fair
- How to fit France and Germany into the borders of ...
- Chap off the old block
- Remark remark remark comma remark remark comma rem...
- The ruthless Darwinian struggle for existence and ...
- An ode to the bureau of meteorology
- Contemperaneous and relevating
- My brilliant gardening career
- Great parlour games of our Tim
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