An open letter to the Universe

Dear Universe, just a little request. Would you be able to stop holding other events on Saturday afternoons, 2-5? That's when I have the Dan O'Connell poetry readings to go to, you see.

Universe, I know you can do this. Saturdays being on the weekend, naturally, they're quite popular, but there are lots of other times on the weekend, apart from Saturday afternoons, 2-5! There's the Saturday evening, for instance, a very nice and excellent time to be holding other events in general. Saturday morning is pretty good too; I personally recommend it - a fine time, full of a feeling of adventure and heartiness, and it would seem to be a perfectly splendid candidate for a couple of events.

Or, how about this, Universe: you could hold more events in the evenings of the week as well! I'm sure you could space them out nicely. Tuesday nights seem pretty good. Wednesday evenings, well, for some reason that seems to be pretty full up already, but I think you could slot a few more events in there already. Why slot events in that Saturday afternoon timeslot, after all, when you've got 6 other lovely days to consider?

Universe, you've done a lot for us to be grateful for in the eternity of past and future time and the vast endlessness of space. You've bought us wonderful things, such as pi to an infinite number of decimal spaces, the beauty of mountain ranges as the soft evening sunset falls upon them, the sublimity of stars, the works of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and stories about unicorns. They're great, really.

But if you could avoid holding events on a Saturday afternoon that are not the Dan O'Connell Poetry readings I'd be most grateful.

Cheers,
TimT