My mind drifted back to that when I saw this article in the Herald Sun this morning:
CITY streets are on the nose: tests reveal many of them smell as bad as a farmyard.They were talking about this on radio this morning, too, and someone suggested that they use CCTV to put a 'name and shame' file of offenders on the web.
The shocking findings have prompted a disgusted Melborune[sic] Lord Mayor Robert Doyle to demand urinating revellers clean up their act.
International-standard tests conducted exclusively for the Herald Sun Public Defender have found urine, garbage and even the smell of sewage is turning streets and laneways rancid.
The results come barely a month after Melbourne was named the world's most liveable city.
CCTV, you say?
More like Wee Wee TV.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all night.
UPDATE! - If such a CCTV policy were put into place in NZ, of course, it would be Kiwiweeweetv, or possibly Iwiweeweetv.
5 comments:
I have a PhD in Olfactory Nuances and Not so Subtle Ordurings..I am currently writing a book, which hopefully will be published by Pong Press next year...I have travelled to 87 countries testing my nostrils against the wayward afflictions of every smell possible. I am keen to come to Melbourne, and explore the rich chunderings, faecal depositings, urinatory excrescences, and other flotsam and jetsam of smelly odours. I would love to meet you, and together do some serious sniffing in the back alleys of purified pong sniffing jouissance.
Doctor of Dung! I will sell you a pong for a song from the walls of St Paul's.
I have to say that when I was pregnant and working in the city, there were certain smelly alleyways I had to avoid lest the smell made me throw up and add to the smell therein...it could have been a vicious circle!
The word verification for this post is "pheuck". Somehow that sums it all up, really.
Maybe I could do some special investigation for this site - I'd go around to some city streets, sniff them out, and do a series of Blaaaaaaaaaaaaargh posts.
I believe in Japan there has been a Smellometer (C) developed, which operates much like the Geiger counter, except using human reactive noises ie
Lowest level - 'pwa'
Low level - 'uggh...yuk'
Middle Level - 'blimey, get me out of 'ere'
Upper Mid - 'cor, stone a duck, pwaaaah!'
High Level - 'hecky thump, yaaaa, pwuuuu'
Highest Level - a high pitched scream, something like ' waaayyaaaaawwayyyyyya'
regards,
Doctor Pong
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