Monday, March 26, 2012

Amazing diet tips for a well-rounded diet!

No, don't be alarmed everyone! Don't run away! These really are the most amazing diet tips you'll ever read! Just try the wondrouns WILLTYPEFORFOOD tips for a well-rounded diet:

- Hamburgers are good. Circular buns, circular burgers. This is sure to be a well-rounded food!

- Chips may not seem well-rounded. They're more, sort of, rectangular, with pointy ends. But they're made from the spherical potato! That's really well-rounded! So you'll need to eat a lot of that.

- PIZZA. Can't get much rounder than that. And pie. Why else do you think they call the mathematical constant that is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter pi? (Or if you want to be picky π? Hmmm?)

- And don't forget to drink beer. But only if it's in a circular bottle or glass.

Some more incredibly important well-rounded foods that you don't want to leave out of your well-rounded diet: donuts (two circles for the price of one!), Burger Rings, Cheezels, and CHOCOLATE FRECKLES. (One big circle, lots of little spheroids on them, making for an incredibly well rounded diet.) And pavlova! Certainly pavlova!

Salads, bread, pasta, and other such foods. They are much too polygonal, and not at all likely to lead to a well-rounded diet.

If you are not sure whether the WILLTYPEFORFOOD well-rounded diet is for you, why not try eating A SQUARE MEAL EVERY DAY? Start with Tim Tams - they're pretty rectangular, which is close enough to square. Then try Cadbury chocolate blocks, some cake (but only if it's square), etc, etc, etc...

UPDATE! - Also, if you follow this well-rounded diet faithfully, you are guaranteed to have a well-rounded figure. And let's face it, that's what we all want.

Now let us pause to gaze upon the profundity in rotundity that is G K Chesterton...


Anonymous said...

Scoops of ice-cream. Lindor balls are a must and thus so is Terry's Chocolate Orange. Indeed, oranges, apples, grapes, blueberries... and cachous, lots of 'em on a nice round ice-cream cake.

Anonymous said...

Macadamia nuts - oh the delight!

Caz said...

Toffee apples.

Potato cakes.

All cakes.

Sausages, sliced.



TimT said...

Pancakes and pikelets, with banana slices.

Anonymous said...

What about hamburgers made from Chesterton? A most well-rounded food!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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