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Sunday, September 08, 2013

Supernews! Thousands of Australians suddenly wish they'd voted for Parma, not Palmer.

AUSTRALIA, SUNDAY - Thousands of Australians today are slowly dawning to the realisation that they have mistakenly elected Clive Palmer to the Parliament instead of Chicken Parma.

"We didn't realise", said thousands of Australians. "We thought we were expressing our love for a well-known pub delicacy, a bit like people do in Masterchef, but instead we've accidentally elected this incoherent corrupt loon".

Chicken Parma, a well known celebrity which has appeared in barrooms across the nation in the company of pots, pints, schooners, middies, and sometimes a little salad, has repeatedly expressed its disinterest in running for politics. "I'm happy with my job at the moment," says Parma. "That is, providing a satisfying meal to people from all walks of life. I'm just not cut out for politics." However, it has said it is "surprised" but "flattered" by the news that thousands of Australians accidentally voted for it.

Thousands of Australians have today expressed their regret at the unfortunate mistake. "We're sorry," said thousands of Australians. "We won't do it again. Probably."

COMPARE AND CONTRAST
CHICKEN PARMA
- Found in pubs across the nation.
- Tasty and delicious.
- Likes lying on a bed of hot salty chips while being layered with a rich tomato sauce and melted mozzarella cheese.

CLIVE PALMER
- Found in boardrooms across the nation.
- Tasteless and chewy.
- Also likes lying on a bed of hot salty chips while being layered with a rich tomato sauce and melted mozzarella cheese, but only in the privacy of his own bedroom and only if the act is performed by a bikini-clad young woman.

Not Chicken Parma. 


This has been another edition of Supernews!

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