Saturday, September 14, 2013

The hideous scourge of etc etc in today's etc

Confession time: I am a pasta racist. By which I mean, not that I discriminate against you if your parents were tagliatelle, or anything like that. No: it's just that I have a thing about brown pasta. I do not like it. Quite frankly, I find it depressing. To put it bluntly, brown pasta fills me with low expectations. It seems to me, if I may speak truthfully, a wholly inferior pasta.

Quite why I have come to have this low opinion of brown pasta, I do not know. I hold no such opinions about yellow pasta, or green pasta (which I find quite cheery); exotic pastas, such as red pasta, or dinosaur pasta, I have a lot of time for. Nor is this a general prejudice against the colour brown, which on the whole I believe does credit to the colour spectrum. In fact, I have a lot of time for all manner of colours, even when and perhaps especially if those colours turn out not to be so much colours at all, but almost-colours: grey, for instance. Why do people have a problem with this dignified and satisfying timbre, that appears in its many hues on the faces of clouds, in dignified ageing heads of hair, and throughout the heave and swell of the ocean?

So really, I have even less excuse than some for my pasta racism. Why do I hold this shocking pasta prejudice? Should I be sent to a pasta re-education class? Would I feel the same way if I was a brown pasta?

I do not know the answer to any of these questions. All I know is, once I am presented with a bowl of brown pasta, my face falls and I feel vaguely disappointed and slightly let down by the universe without knowing the reason why. This brown pasta prejudice of mine is truly insidious!

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