Feelings, bah! Barely a day goes by without people saying that I should talk about my feelings! Well let me tell you something: I have feelings, and I feel strongly about those feelings, and the way I feel about my feelings is better left unsaid!
A few weeks ago, I went to see Casablanca on the big screen; about halfway through the film when Humphrey Bogart was sitting glowering drunkenly at the wall - a few minutes after running into his One True Love, Ingrid Bergman, in the bar - I experienced a curious sensation in my eyes. It was more or less akin to having slices of fresh garlic being rubbed repeatedly and roughly up and down them. Yeah, that's right - I was getting ready to blub like a baby. But I suppressed those tears, I did! I quashed those emotions with the violence and brutality that has been expected of men! I mean, what right had those feelings to barge into my brain while I was sitting and coolly enjoying the aesthetic experience of a classic Hollywood film? None, that's what!
I'd like to take my feelings outside and show them what for, I would!
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