Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Speaking of collanders

Non-sequitur poem

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Posies are pink.
The square root of ten thousand four hundred and four is one hundred and two.

Manners poem

- Do you mind?
- Not at all!
- It's not a ...?
- No!
- If I may...
- Quite all right!
- Quite, you say?
- Quite!
- This really is...
- Don't mention...!
- Are you sure?
- Go!

Dangling modifier poem

"O! Let us gaze into the moon!"
She cried, "In our pyjamas!"
"Or let us sit and drink and talk!"
He sighed, "Of loons and llamas!"

And hand in hand they gazed into
The pyjama-wearing moon;
And sat and talked and drank a cup
Of freshly-boiled loon.

"O let us eat this cake with forks!"
She yawped beguilingly.
"Or let us singing wear our socks!"
He answered smilingly.

So then they sat and ate a cake,
And then they ate their forks;
And then they donned their singing socks
And went out for a walk.

She gazed at him, and he at her,
And there and then they knew:
She gladly fell into his arms,
And madly, he did too.

It was a tight fit, to be sure -
But what else could they do?

Understatement poem

April isn't a very good month,
But let's not go over the top.

UPDATE! - An overaccurate compliment poem.


TimT said...

Technically, I'm sure you could argue that violets are violet rather than blue, but violet doesn't make a good rhyme.

Gempires said...

the dangling modifier one was especially gratifying for a student of editing. it belongs in a dahl-esque book of children's poems...for smart kids.

alexis said...

Bloody 'ell. You are clever.

TimT said...

I have a few more in the works...

TimT said...

I originally wrote the dangling modifier one without verses two and four, and if you take them out (which you can, they're only in there to make things clearer) you have a sonnet, of sorts.

colonel eggroll said...

I'm a big fan of the non-sequitur poem myself. I shared it with my coworkers and they thoroughly enjoyed it. Good work! :)

Mitzi G Burger said...

Lovely new works for the Year 7 Poetry Textbook I am gradually compiling. Dangle those modifiers in front of the eager noses of the syllabus writers and they will sniff the grammar "outcomes" of the future. Bravo.

TimT said...

Ye Gads, I fear you have had an encounter with the fumes of 'Outcomes Education', Mitzi! Time for the epsom salts!

Pleased to be of service, Colonel Eggroll. :)

Dale Slamma said...

The understatement poem is my favourite poem of the day, maybe tomorrow as well.

TimT said...


I was beginning to think my Understatement had been misunderestimated.

Maybe my next round of efforts should include a misunderestimation poem.

Kathy said...

Great stuff Timmy. The "Dangling modifier" had me swooning!
Perhaps they could swoon,
by the light of the moon,
to a tune again soon?

Maria said...

Roses are red,
Violets are violet,
Without the traditional "blue" rhyme,
This poem gets left on auto-pilot.

'course there's rhymes.

Maria said...

Roses are red
Violets are Vi-o-let,
I don't like violet flowers much,
That's why I don't buy a lot.

Roses are red,
Violets are vi-o-let
If you bring me cheap daisies though,
You'll be hearing goodbye a lot.


TimT said...

Roses are red
Violets are violet
These poems, I admit
Are something I smile at.

TimT said...

Roses are red
And violets aren't blue.
Violets are violet,
And a good thing too.

It's also good
It isn't spelled Voilet
Because then poems would end with
The smelly word 'Toilet'.

Helen said...

The romantic poem is very Mervyn Peake-ish.

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive