The National Heart Foundation are these people who go around putting ticks of approval on stuff you buy in the supermarket, which I find a bit cheeky. Who wants to get approved by people who want to approve of you? Not me. I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't go around ticking all the things that I don't like to eat, and ignoring all the things I eat, but there you go. I suppose any old person with the relevant 'expertise' can become a self-appointed 'expert'.
Anyway, I think I've come up with an alternative strategy of my own. I'm going to invent a spurious organisation called The National Fart Foundation, and whack the foundation's tick on anything that I happen to like. Crumpets? Sure thing! Kingston biscuits? Why not!
And this blog, too, wins a National Fart Foundation tick of approval.
10 comments:
I haven't actually done a scientific study of fart-worthy foods yet, that is, those that imnprove the quality or frequency, stench or sound, of the fart.
But I'm sure that any study would be well appreciated by your colleagues so I urge you to go ahead TimT, and return results!
Your National Feart Foundation tick has much more credibility that that other one, for which the manufacturer writes a HUGE cheque (thousand$)in return for the right to add it to the packaging.
Is it on Nutrigrain? Which has 54% sugar, but no fat, so it must be healthy right?.
oh don't get me started.
A ditty my brother used to warble implied a correlation between coronary health and flatulence:
Baked beans are good for your heart.
Baked beans make you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
Baked beans for every meal!
The National Fart Foundation doesn't have any system for approving of things, which only makes it all the more credible in my book.
Beans, of course, are right up there in the Fart Foundation's books, for as everyone knows,
Beans, beans, the musical fruit!
The more you eat, the more you toot!
I'm not sure about this idea Tim. Seems to me it will just be a lot of hot air and silly noises.
Perhaps:
The National Lard Foundation
The National Tart Foundation
Cheeky! You're blowing hot and cold on this one, Dan.
National Tart Foundation motto: "You haven't seen heaven until you've seen the juicy bottom of our Portuguese Tarts".
Who knew a comments thread about 'The National Fart Foundation' would soon hit the bottom?
Sorry to sound a bum note.
Tim, if the point of your endorsement is the pointlessness of endorsement, then may I suggest the big red tick of the National Endorsement Foundation Endorsement.
A fine suggestion. I think I just wanted to do a post rhyming heart with fart.
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