While I was away I went dolphin watching. Dolphins are a singularly dull creature with grey skin, because grey is the most boring colour possible. There are such things as pink dolphins, but they are grey, too. Dolphins are mammals but they live underwater, since they are rather confused about things. They spend their time underwater swimming about labouriously, and eating the occasional fish, not because they like the taste, but because they dislike the fish.
This is what dolphin watching involves: you climb to the top of a very tall hill in order to be as far away from the dolphins as possible. Once you have reached the top, you look down, far below, into the ocean, and peer into the occasional spot of white foam, and call it a dolphin.
The most famous dolphin is Flipper, who was well known some 30 years ago because he had a television show or something. These days, dolphins can be found in images on a number of soap packets that you would buy if you weren't buying other soap packets. The end.
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3 comments:
The dolphins have only been nasty like that since Jerry Seinfeld swam with them (of course you recall the drama of his fast exit from NYC when he ended his eponymous TV series - he came here to swim with the dolphins).
and now he has done a TV commercial for a Newcastle building society.
Newcastle was in the news while you were there ... not in a good way I think. Are you now, or have you ever been in league with Seinfeld and or the dolphins?
There's something going on here.
Reeling & Writhing has a meme of 3 things in fiction that are true.
These are my 3:
If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world. It's impossible.
J.D.Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield.
There are just some kind of men who - who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one,
and you can look down the street and see the results.
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Maudie Atkinson.
Dead men are heavier than broken hearts.
Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep, Philip Marlowe.
just sharing cos I am so wonderful.
Please do go over here and join in if you like
Maybe my brain has been polluted by 1980s television, but all the time I was dolphin watching, I was thinking, 'Too much Flipper, not enough Jaws!'
...and why do dolphins always have that silly grin? It's a rather obnoxious smirk I think.
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