Art criticism

A visit to the Bright regional art gallery the other day yielded the following observations:

1. Paintings of a number of disembodied heads of horses and dogs, making everyone wonder what happened to the disem-headed horses' and dogs' bodies;

2. Sightings of a number of paintings involving flower fairies, magical forest creatures living in mushrooms, and the like;

3. An observation that virtually all of the paintings at the exhibition could be improved by the simple addition of an extra element, say, an elephant;

4. A decision that the single painting of an elephant could be improved by the addition of a gigantic floating carrot;

5. A meditation on what the dear little puppies who featured in several paintings got up to in their spare time (sniffing other dear little puppy's bums, perhaps, or devouring gigantic slabs of flesh from slaughtered animals) and wondering why the dear little puppies were never pictured doing any of these things;

6. A decision that virtually all of the paintings present could also be improved by the addition of a gigantic flying robot dinosaur.

Well, no, I was the only one who decided that last one. Still, as a great man once said, 'I don't know about art, but I do know about gigantic flying robot dinosaurs, and they're bloody terrifying!'