Saw some poetry readings on Channel 31 last night. Is that all it takes to be a poet? Get up there, spout some touchy-feely guff about life and love in the city, shout a bit, say one or two swear words, and step down?
I was profoundly underwhelmed by the whole thing. Here, at random, are some thoughts I had after the event:
1) Don't use metaphors like 'An all-too black night'. What else is the night going to be? White? Green? Purple? Of course the night is black, that's the colour things get when you take the sun away.
And isn't it racist to use metaphors like this, anyway?
2) The word 'Frangipani' should be banned from all poems. It's not romantic, it's just annoying.
3) No poet should ever write about themselves.
4) No poet should ever write about self-obsession, artists with creative difficulties, or artists in general. This is just another way for them to write about themselves. There is nothing more pathetic than a self-obsessed poet writing about self-obsession as a subtle way of referring to themselves.
It's not subtle, it's not interesting, and it tells us more about the 'writer' than they have ever wanted or tried to tell us.
5) Say your poems, don't read them out. Remember:
- Meaningful pauses are never meaningful
- End your sentences, don't leave them hanging in the air
- You're not dictating to children
- You're not a child yourself, so don't act like you're standing up in class stumbling over 'Dick likes Jane - see Jane run!' for the first time.
6) I'm not very impressed by your rhymes. Here's an exercise. Write down as many rhymes as you can think of for the following words...
Then come back and write some more poems.
7) Quit talking about how depressed you are, how you have a poor view of life, etc, etc. Cheer up! Life's not that bad.
8) Even better yet, give up poetry, and take up something interesting. Like bricklaying.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2017 (40)
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Patriarchy 101
- Happy Endings
- Questions Asked
- My Children's Book
- It's a Ponderful Life
- Compassion - Just So Twentieth Century
- Meme 2
- To All Stuff
- Underwear of the Mighty
- Your Underwear
- When The Russell Crowes
- Meme 1
- Snode Sounds Like a Rather Good Title For a Poem, ...
- Lip is Hip
- Nonspiracy Theory
- How To Be A Poet
- The Pie Poll!
- ▼ June (19)