Sunday, June 19, 2005

To All Stuff

From: Chief Mangler

To: All Stuff

It has been bought to my detention that certain sectors of our organization are suffering from chronic understuffing. This problem is urgent, and must be addressed in the near future.

As I'm sure you all no, stuffing shortages effect all areas of our business, and result in a large amount of indeficiencies in the cervixes we have on offer.

Please redress this problem immediately or, if that is not passable, straight away.


From: Chief Mangler

To: All Stuff

I sea that my call for detention to be bought to our chromic understuffing problem has resulted in a knew problem: overstuffing.

Let me sea if I can understand this, in seven easy-to-explain terms:

a) Chromic understuffing results in large, often chromic, shortages of people.

b) This causes large indeficiencies in cervixes.

c) The affect of all this is less income.

d) Overstuffing, on the other hand, leads two too to large amounts of people.

e) Consequently, we are made to pay Moore money which could otherwise have been spent on cervixes

f) Again effecting our income.

You sea? We dont want two be overstuffed, any less than we want two be understuffed. We just want to be stuffed. GET IT?


From: Chief Mangler

To: All Stuff

All write, I admit it. Several of our stuff have reshined in the past day. Though, I like to think of it as knot so much 'reshining' as 'early retyrement.'

Now I no a lot of you will be feeling extremely down, very sad, and rather depressed. But please, dont let this effect your moral. On the other hand, look on the bright side: our problems with chromic overstuffing will now, by gradual excrement, be rectified, quiet shortly.


From: Chief Mangler

To: All Stuff

Know what's this I here about stuff receiving wrong massages from Manglerment? In factually, I have even herd sum off you talk about our 'Orifice Communication Problem.'

Let me make this quite clear:


We may have communication difficulties, yes. We have communication quibbles, and we have communication qualms. But two the person who thanks that our current difficulties remount two a problem - two him, I say:

"There's no YOU in Communication!"

I also thank that all this torque about "Communication Problems" is an attempt two distract our detention from our Chromic Stuffing problem.

Witch brings me too my next point. Our problem with Chromic Over and Understuffing are now solved. Combatulations! We are know completely and utterly STUFFED!


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