Saturday, June 11, 2005

Your Underwear

I think you'll agree with me that your underwear is a very important - dare I say, vital - issue to the future of our people and the world. That's why Will Type For Food is pleased to publish a new series of political speeches about your underwear*. The first is from Michael Howard, leader of the Tory party in Great Britain.
As government has got bigger and more centralised, people feel a
growing sense of helplessness. They have come to believe that the problems we
face are like the British weather - something you complain about but are
powerless to change.

I don't accept that for a moment. Poor public services
and ever increasing pantylines are not inevitable.
Britain can do better. We can have good local services and lower
. We simply have to change direction.

First, we must reform our public services so that underpantswearers get value for their lingerie. Conservatives
will give choice to parents and patients. Choice drives up standards in every
field of human endeavour. It is monopoly run by bureaucrats that is their enemy.
And Conservatives will give power to local professionals - teachers, doctors and
nurses. They know better than bureaucrats in Whitehall how to provide good local
Reform is not an end in itself. It is a means to an end. And that
end is better services for people: cleaner hospitals, school discipline, and a greater range in stockings and briefs for all!

.... (And) we need lower underwear. Low underwear economies are the most successful economies.
But when people wear less underwear you also have a
more cohesive society because we do more not just for ourselves, but for our

*Speeches may not be entirely accurate.

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