Saturday, June 16, 2007

History Segment!

Russia, circa 1950: thousands of eager tradesmen rushed to become plumbers after first hearing the thrilling tones of the SONG OF THE UNITED PLUMBERS UNION OF THE USSR, which I am pleased to present to you today!

Plumb fiercely, plumbers,
Plumb, plumb, plumb!
Smash the capitalist menace
With your taps and pipes!

Plumb, plumb, plumb:
Boldly brave the scum.
Plumb, plumb, plumb:
Plumbers - hoorah!

Plumb fiercely, plumbers
Serve the workers
With the astounding efficiency
Of your hot-water system!

Plumb, plumb, plumb: (etc).

Plumb fiercely, plumbers:
Plumb, plumb, plumb!
Impress Comrade Stalin
And you will be richly rewarded
With your uranium-heated bathtub
For your old age!

Plumb! Plumb! Plumb!

By jove! Anyone else want a uranium-heated bathtub? Sign me up, Stalin!


TimT said...

NOTE: This post possibly an absolute lie.

Shelley said...

Dammit, now I want a bath.

TimT said...

I'll arrange for the uranium to be sent to Sydney straightaway.

Shelley said...

Oh, no thanks, even if you could charter the boat required to move anything around in Sydney at the moment, those greenpeace people can be quite scary and I daresay they'd have objections. Also, a bathtub would, in truth, be more practical.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Ach, this warms the cockles, this does. It's been years since I've partaken of a good old fashioned Soviet sing-along. I'll start heating the cocoa.

TimT said...

Capital! I do wonder though, where does this group stand on the vital question of communism?

Shelley said...

They have little red eyes. Doesn't that tell you all you need to know?

Anonymous said...

I have a LP record called 'Songs of the Red Army Choir', but this isn't on it.

It does have 'John Reed Walks in Petrograd', which I strongly recommend. Just when you think it's going to finish another verse starts. It must go on for at least 25 minutes.

If you have not been converted to communism at the end of 'John Reed Walks in Petrograd' then you just haven't got a soul.

Charles Murton
Great Teacher Re-education Camp
Kaesong, North Korea

The Polarizer said...

Your magnificent work is applauded!!
If you can muster something up about tractor parts, we may consider lighter duties for you at the Gulag!

TimT said...

Most generous of you, O beneficient one! If I may ask, how did the Women's Weekly staff get you to pose for their cover?

The Polarizer said...

Any publicity is good publicity. But I will stop short of divulging my Ukrainian sausage recipes.
Who weekly has made some recent inquiries, but I had to ask WHO was asking?
As you well know, crap magazines are the opiate of the masses and in this modern world it's all about getting your face out there.
I'm thinking about a feature in 'Post' magazine, maybe the weird and wonderful section.Or maybe the joke page.

'Two dissidents walk into a Gulag', the first one asks "what are you here for?" The other replies. "to keep an eye on you". The first one replies, "That's funny I'm here for the same reason"...

You had to be there...

Email: timhtrain - at -

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