Tennis? It's All A Load of Balls, Really...

My belief that most sports journalists are failed poets was sustained by a brief glance at the results of the French Open women's singles this year.

Good grief, what a load of bollocks that is. I think I can say it all much more succintly. Let's see...

DAY 1

Williams beats Pironkova;
Henin, Vesnina;
Paszek trumps Nakamura,
And HOORAY for Safina!

DAY 2

Williams beats Cornet
6/4, 6/3;
Stosur beats Jackson:
PLUS: A win to Na Li!

DAY 3

Bartoli - Gagliardi -
And Vaidisova;
Not to mention Parmentier -
And Algul Amanmuradova!

DAY 4

For (RUS): SHARAPOVA!
For (NED): Krajicek;
Mathilde plays for (FRA)
And there's Peschke: the Czech.

DAY 5

Wins go to Williams,
Peer, Sugiyama - but it's
Curtains for Shaughnessy
And Gallovits.

DAY 6

Hooray for Williams!
6/2, 6/3
Also: Bammer the Rammer
Thrashes Na Li!

DAY 7

SHARAPOVA! Safarova!
Olaru! Cibulkova!
Chakvetadze! Kuznetsova!
Kudryavtseva! Knapp!

DAY 8

1/6, 1/6 -
Straight sets to Jankovic:
But it's more of a fight
For Ana Ivanovic.

DAY 10

Quarter finals! Exciting!
Wins to Henin! SHARAPOVA!
(Bad luck to the others -
Such as Vaidisova!)

DAY 12

Oh no! Oh my God!
Just let it be over!
Henin beats Jankovic,
Ivanovic beats SHARAPOVA!

THE FINAL: COMING UP NEXT!

Will Henin beat Ivanovic,
Or vice versa?
Here's an ad for a deodorant
Worn by Sam Stosur!