Wednesday, February 06, 2008

A concise summary of my body functions during the course of today

The morning began with a good nose pick. I personally recommend that all mornings begin with a good nose pick, and indeed, there is hardly a morning of mine that does not begin with a good nose pick. However, at some periods of the year (hot days during summer, for instance) it is recommended that this nose picking policy is reconsidered, as a blood nose may be the result. Nevertheless, it is an excellent method that nature has furnished for cleaning out one's nasal passages and airways during the morning, with the tools readily provided (at one's fingertips, as it were).

As I had been sleeping somewhat fitfully, and rolling around a lot, my elbows had been aching from prolonged periods of rest on their sides. However, this ache quickly dissipated as I rose from my bed. I continued to the toilet, where I had the usual satisfactory morning piss.

There was very little to do at work, so I leaned forward on the desk, which again caused a slight ache in my arms. My back ached slightly as well, but let's not go on about it. Once or twice I rose from the seat to get a drink or go to the toilet for another piss. While not bad as pisses go, I was not able to lose myself in the experience as much as I would have at home due to the imminent presence of work colleagues in the bathroom.

In addition, there were several slight ructions in my stomach due to a consolidated programme of food consumption throughout the course of Monday and Tuesday. As a result, my lunch was somewhat light, a milkshake followed by a Cornflake Honeyjoy (disappointing).

Despite a slight wooziness throughout the afternoon, I continued in this manner through to the end of the day, where a walk in the fresh air and a coffee made me feel somewhat better. When I arrived home late in the evening I continued to the toilet to make a poo, which turned out to be slight, but not insignificant. Then I had a shower.

This has been a concise summary of the bodily functions of Timothy H Train during the course of today, Wednesday, 6 February, 2008.


Steve said...

Starting to run short of inspiration for posts, Tim?

TimT said...

No, I just find body functions interesting.

alexis said...

I'm intrigued by the expression, "to make a poo". It suggests not the mere elimination of waste, but something actively creative. I'm reminded of the expression, "to make water". It's the kind of thing Jesus would do, at a party for teetotallers, when the Mount Franklin had all run out. Only the divine mechanism of the immortal bowels can truly make a poo. And these are the wonders of the world.

TimT said...

Wow. Good point, and an Auden quote would seem to be apposite here:

All the arts derive from
This ur-act of making,
Private to the artist:
Makers' lives are spent
Striving in their chosen
Medium to produce a
De-narcissus-ized en-
During excrement.

Maria said...

My poo creation sometimes leaves me staring in awe at the bowl, wondering at the pattern of sausages and pellets I have divined, of mine own being. Truly inspirational.

Maria said...

I'm usually more of an ear cleaner and a big yawn person to start the day, but always wiling to explore more territories. Nice to meet a Picker, TimT. Glad this is only a virtual shakin' of hands.

TimT said...

Ah yes. Forgot to mention the several big yawns I encountered, and the skin-scratching as I walked down the path to the train station.

Ear-cleaning and even eyelid-cleaning are also good ways to start the day, but I usually don't produce much stuff there. So there you go.

Gnae-O-Mi said...

I'm a blister-popper myself. We're a rarer breed entirely, since few people can sustain the energy to produce 'em on a daily basis.

It's rather dehydrating but I'm committed to the cause.

prude said...

Prudey does a few stretches and a bit of scratching. Then it is on to prude preening, and a prude jig to welcome the morning.

The system of course must be flushed out but as a prude I does not like to dwell on this at greats length.

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