Hanging Chads (in some cases literally)

... In other news, tomorrow, Zimbabwe goes to the polls. But there are increasing concerns amongst dictators the world over that this sham election in Zimbabwe could make a mockery of the so-called democracy run by Robert Mugabe. Dictators are feeling less hopeful than ever about the increase in hope amongst Zimbabweans, and report increased feelings of pessimism about the decreased feelings of pessimism expressed by the Zimbabwean public.

"If something is not done soon, Zimbabwe could at length decay into a working economy, with roads, schools, hospitals and justice for all. And nobody wants to see that happen. Nobody important, that is." says one dictator.

Others a more hardline. "This sham election has no place in a modern dictatorship!" says one dictator. "How can we be rightly expected to make a mockery of justice and the rule of law if justice and the rule of law have a chance of making a mockery out of us?"

However, it is thought that with a little hard work at the rigged polls, Mugabe can snuff out the light at the end of the tunnel and be returned to illegitimate power with an increase in his non-votes.