A review of some of the recent weather we have had

Well, despite the official closure of summer, yesterday saw Melbourne indulge in a particularly rumbustious performance of the 'hot, dry day'. As everyone knows, the 'hot dry day' genre is a particular favourite in most parts of Australia, often coming with a number of optional extras:

- Offensive winds

- Apartments and houses that heat up to near oven-temperatures

- Fires/bushfires

While performances in these three categories seemed to be somewhat lacking, it is nevertheless true that the day offered a little of all three: there was a slight hot breeze, and the temperature indoors seemed to gradually rise and rise until it was little different from the temperature out-of-doors. Also, walking along Moreland Road yesterday evening, I noticed smoke in the air, and, as the old adage indicates, 'where there's smoke, there's fire.' Also, despite the somewhat lacklustre and laid-back performance of this particular 'hot, dry day', the programme for upcoming weather events in the area seems to indicate that more are on the way.

With a little effort, I'm sure Melbourne and environs may still, indeed, be able to achieve the full combination of horrendous temperatures, winds, fires, and overheated apartments, that have resulted in other classic performances in the 'hot, dry day' genre, such as 'That really bloody hot day we had back in December', 'That fucking bloody heatwave that seemed to go on and on in January', and 'that bullcrap 40-degree day we had back a while ago, when was it, I don't want to remember'.

Although it's obvious the Melbourne weather was going for the surprise factor by waiting until the end of summer before springing a row of 'hot, dry days' on us, it is not a pleasant surprise; and like a rock musician who doesn't know how to play in 4/4 time, the timing of the Melbourne weather is more than a little suspect. In addition, 'hot, dry days' aren't actually that pleasant, in and of themselves. Quite the opposite, really. I personally find myself more than looking forward to future performances in the 'mid-autumn chill, two jumper day', 'grey and mizzling', 'blue skies but freezing', and 'winter showers' genres that the Melbourne weather undoubtedly will be offering us in the months to come.

However, I am willing, provisionally, to say that yesterday was certainly a joyous rendition of the 'hot, dry day' genre, making up for an otherwise relatively pleasant summer. For that, I give it a tentative

ONE-AND-A-HALF STARS OUT OF FIVE