Today, instead of going out partying to celebrate my birthday, I did something much better: I read in the bath. Reading in the bath is a simple, affordable, and achievable pleasure for just about anyone, and really, you have no excuse not to do it.
YOU WILL NEED:
One (1) bath;
One (1) book, magazine, or other item of reading material (do NOT under any circumstances make it an electricity bill. That's just sick, man.)
One (1) towel ready at close quarters.
The bath must of course be sufficiently hot to allow a good long soak, and sufficiently deep so that you can sink into it and slosh about at your leisure. A ledge should also be handy to place your book on, so that it doesn't become wet while you slosh around. The towel should of course be handy so that when you pick up the book after sloshing around, your hands have been dried and the book doesn't become damaged.
In my particular case, I forgot about the towel and therefore had to blow on my hands when they had become wet to help them dry. In addition, because of peculiarities with my hot water system, I run out of hot water quickly. This means that I had to turn the hot water on full bore when running the bath to get it of a sufficient depth to slosh and loll about in (those thinking of preparing a bath in which to read, be careful to plan and prepare for such eventualities before bathing).
However, I am happy to report that the bath was indeed of sufficient depth, the sloshing and splashing was as jolly as any that have occured in the regions of a bath, and the book was fabulous: P G Wodehouse's 'Right ho, Jeeves', in point of fact. A book-in-the-bath quote for you:
Frankly, I was shocked by the unfortunate young prune's appearance. At Cannes she had been a happy smiling English girl of the best type, full of beans and buck. Her face now was pale and drawn, like that of a hockey centre-forward at a girls' school who, in addition to getting a fruity one on the shin, has just been penalized for 'sticks'. In any normal gathering, her demeanour would have excited instant remark, but the standard of gloom at Brinkley Court had become so high that it passed unnoticed...
I suppose there are some people who might insist on going out for one's birthday, but really, why do that when you can have a one-person party at home with your bath and your book?
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
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- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
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- THE SLAMMA!
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- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
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- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
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- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
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