Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The dreaded green shirt cluster

The Empiricist says:

Cancer clusters are the mental plaything of the ignorant.
You don’t hear people talking in suspicous tones about “green shirt” clusters, do you? Yet I have often seen three, four, even five people with green shirts in the same place at the same time.

Well, that's a very good point, now, isn't it? It's high time public awareness was raised about the growing number of green shirt clusters in our neighbourhoods. I, for one, am all for it, and hope that scientists will soon isolate the root causes and the situations that give rise to the incidences of green shirt clusters in our towns and cities.

Perhaps the media could carry out a public awareness campaign about green shirt clusters? And perhaps vigilant green shirt spotters could keep their eye out for occurences of green shirts, and what numbers they appear in? We can hardly afford to remain ignorant about such an important issue.

Although the causes of green shirt clusters remain unknown, I think that we can narrow it down to several broad scientific categories:

People putting on green shirts because it's cold out.

People put on whatever shirt they can find because of societal prejudices against nudists.

"I think I'll just put on this green shirt, because green is nice."

It was either the green shirt, the stripey shirt, the blue shirt, the dotted shirt, the other dotted shirt, or the yellow polo kneck.

What complex network of sociological, mathematical, statistical, neurological, and astrophysical causes could be affecting the sudden upwards trend in green shirt clusters?


M-H said...

There was a red shoe cluster at my workplace the other day. I'm not sure what that means.

TimT said...

Red shoe clusters! Well I think we can narrow it down to causes that are either economic (I just bought these nice new red shoes!), medical (if I don't wear shoes my feet get cold!), or possibly something to do with sub-particular physics, but I'm not saying anything until I speak to the experts.

daddy dave said...

that made my day.

Ampersand Duck said...

And what about Saint Patrick's Day? Once a year, green shirts abound!

TimT said...

True! The more you look, the more green shirt clusters you find!

Caz said...

In other cluster cases the problem is addressed by moving people and closing the place down.

Action plan: move off shore and close down Australia.

(BTW: the red shoe cluster suggests a bunion cluster. The employer needs to take swift action to protect staff from a proliferation of bunions.)

Mild Colonial Boy, Esq. said...

What ever you do avoid any Red Shirt clusters. Something terrible always happens to them sooner or later.

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