Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Three news stories at once

Why write a series of news stories about events as they unfold when you can just write several at once? That's right, there's no reason why not.

Death toll rises, falls, stays exactly the same

J____, Monday - key power brokers have finally signed a peace agreement to a war that has not started yet, bringing an end to, and perpetuating this seemingly endless conflict. As the situation spirals further out of control, tensions continue to mount between the two countries which have at last agreed to set their differences aside and work to a better future. US President Barack Obama has praised both leaders for their handling of the yet to be unfolding tragedy, while calls for restraint and a return to peace have come from the UN and NATO. Sadly, it looks like no hope is in sight for this yet-to-be-wartorn corner of the world, which now everyone must work to rebuild if it is to forget the current catastrophe as the death toll rises, falls, and stays exactly the same.

Inquiry to be held into shamefully heroic handling of the impending crisis

B____ - inquests into the deaths of several B_'s in the current floods will be held today as several emergency workers prepare for the coming storms. Several emergency workers, who are bravely working to rescue citizens from the ongoing and coming onslaught will take the stand today and testify. Families of the four dead B_'s will be looking for answers and battening down the hatches from the emergency workers as the situation becomes worse, and the full extent of the damage is not yet revealed.


Dan said...

Aren't these like the scripts issued at journalism school? All setup with blanks you just fill when stuff happens, thus:

__th (insert month), 2___.

It was reported today that ___ of ___ accused ___ of being ___. ___ rejected/agreed to the accusation, however s/he said ___ was more ___ than anyone.

TimT said...

Do they do that?

Yeah, I put in the blanks because it's hardly fair to talk about a war that hasn't started yet in detail. If it was, say, 'Israel', they could have Mossad on to me!

TimT said...

Also, I got the idea for this from an actual story I read the other day about an incident in an Australian hospital... and it's not really nice to make fun of these things as they happen, or just after. So let's just keep all this nice 'n' vague, I thought.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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