Variations, Iterations, Deviations

Variations on the air of 'I see, said the blind man, who did not see at all'

I see, said the deaf man, who did not hear at all.

I hear you, said the mute man, who had learning disabilities.

I can handle this, said the dead man, who also had a cold.

I am drunk, said the junkie, who was stoned.

I am sober, said the sober man, who was a dog.

No idea, said the man, when he saw a deer in the forest with no tail.

I understand, said the man with no hands, who was resting on the chair.

I am lying in the bath, said the man who was in the garden, standing.  But then, he was always lying.