Thursday, November 25, 2004

Bloggers Pseudonymous

The dishevelled young man stood up and looked around the room at the circle of - oddly pathetic - faces. With shaking hands and a quivering voice, he said

Hello. My name is TimT, and I blog.

There was a cough.
Someone cleared their throat.

That's alright, Tim called someone from the other side of the room. You've taken the first step.

Yeah, called someone else. We're all bloggers here. We support you!

Oh, said TimT. It all started so innocently. A quick browse on the net now and then - a scroll through the regular links. But then I got my own blog, and it got out of hand.

He looked up, nervously. Then, as if encouraged, somehow, by what he saw, he continued.

I started browsing on other people's blogs more and more often. I became a regular.... after all, I knew if I surrounded myself with others like me, then I wouldn't feel so ... so .... so ... guilty.
It started doing strange things to my interpersonal skills. Like, for no reason at all, I'd start saying things like .... like ":-)" and ":-(" in conversation.

":-0" gasped someone in the audience. How did you do that?

I don't know, I said. I really don't. But that's not the only thing I did. I started - at completely random moments - leaving links to completely meaningless websites!
And then I started using acronyms... like ...

LOL! shouted someone.
WTF! yelled another.
BBQ! ROTFLMAO! hollered a third.

What does that even mean?, I said.

Nobody knows! said someone from the back of the room.

It gets so bad, I sobbed, that I even get an urge to blog this ... right now...and ...

There was a sudden silence. Then, from the up the back of the room, there was a soft tap....tap.... taptap....

Everyone swung around and peered into the corner of the room from where the noise was coming.

There, in the dark corner, sat a small balding man in glasses, blogging the proceedings on his computer. Completely oblivious to everyone's eyes - all turned upon him.

And Tim was starting to get that urge again...


Darlene Taylor said...

TimT this didn't happen at the blogging piss-up a week or so ago?

It's already to admit you're a blogger, after all there are others that society looks down on more (ummm, pederasts and murderers would be two - will get back to you if I can think of anymore).

Tragically, I too have created my own blog, although I will not admit it in polite company (I have written for another one - Ambit Gambit - for a bit). My new one is at I think. I am soooo ashamed.

TimT said...

Thanks Darlene - you're now on the blogroll!

Came across your blog last night, actually, when I followed the link on Tim Blair's website...

TimT said...

PS, it's alright being a blogger. Just so long as you don't get involved in disgraceful activities such as trolling, RWDB thuggery, or Degenerate Cat Blogging...

Splatterbottom said...

"I got my own blog, and it got out of hand" - Put it back in your hand and keep on tossing - thats what makes blogs so interesting.

The dribbling out of intimate fluids for all the world to sample is both indulgent and audacious. As for the reader, sometimes you swallow it and sometimes you choke on it.

TimT said...

Splatter, please... there are ladies present...

The Flea said...

It's always a well-meaning friend isn't it?

"Here's my blog address." they say, handing you a mysterious and folded piece of paper. "You should try it out one day."

Curiosity gets the better of you.

"Nothing wrong with experimenting -- just this once."

You decide it can't hurt. You take a look. And before you know it you're signing up.

"Just a hobby." you say. "It's nothing. Once or twice a week. I've got it under control."

But no . . . your well-meaning friend has ruined you forever. If only you knew they never had your interests at heart.

Soon, you're hitting up every night, even logging in at work. Your eyeballs are swollen. Fingertips are bruised. Your complexion a ghostly white.

The telltale signs are all there. But you still deny it to your friends. You reassure them it's just a phase you're going through. Even when you're hocking your mother's silverware to increase your bandwidth. Stealing other people's ideas to quench your thirst for subject matter.

It's sad really. You just have to face facts. You're a bloghead. Pure and simple. A downright, dirty, filthy bloghead.

saga said...

it's ok Tim....just mind that you avoid using bloglines to track all the blogs, and don't entertain the thought of audio or video-blogging, and you'll be fine... to sample the audio blog...

Darlene Taylor said...

Thank you TimT for putting me on the blogroll.

BTW, as I mentioned to TimT, I am involved with making my own zine (the title is Spin and comes from my time I was working for a politician when I was told to put more "spin" into the letters I wrote) and also a zine called Spinster with my friend Carmen. If anyone is interested in getting copies of either or both, please do not hesitate to be in contact with me. I would also be interested in collecting other people's zines.

EvilPundit said...

There is nothing wrong with trolling, RWDB thuggery, or Degenerate Cat Blogging. I can stop anytime I want to ...

Rolf Leiker said...

Very nice. Keep up the good work.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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