kidattypewriter

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Bloggers Pseudonymous

The dishevelled young man stood up and looked around the room at the circle of - oddly pathetic - faces. With shaking hands and a quivering voice, he said

Hello. My name is TimT, and I blog.

There was a cough.
Someone cleared their throat.

That's alright, Tim called someone from the other side of the room. You've taken the first step.

Yeah, called someone else. We're all bloggers here. We support you!

Oh, said TimT. It all started so innocently. A quick browse on the net now and then - a scroll through the regular links. But then I got my own blog, and it got out of hand.

He looked up, nervously. Then, as if encouraged, somehow, by what he saw, he continued.

I started browsing on other people's blogs more and more often. I became a regular.... after all, I knew if I surrounded myself with others like me, then I wouldn't feel so ... so .... so ... guilty.
It started doing strange things to my interpersonal skills. Like, for no reason at all, I'd start saying things like .... like ":-)" and ":-(" in conversation.

":-0" gasped someone in the audience. How did you do that?

I don't know, I said. I really don't. But that's not the only thing I did. I started - at completely random moments - leaving links to completely meaningless websites!
And then I started using acronyms... like ...


LOL! shouted someone.
WTF! yelled another.
BBQ! ROTFLMAO! hollered a third.

What does that even mean?, I said.

Nobody knows! said someone from the back of the room.

It gets so bad, I sobbed, that I even get an urge to blog this ... right now...and ...

There was a sudden silence. Then, from the up the back of the room, there was a soft tap....tap.... taptap....

Everyone swung around and peered into the corner of the room from where the noise was coming.

There, in the dark corner, sat a small balding man in glasses, blogging the proceedings on his computer. Completely oblivious to everyone's eyes - all turned upon him.

And Tim was starting to get that urge again...

6 comments:

TimT said...

Thanks Darlene - you're now on the blogroll!

Came across your blog last night, actually, when I followed the link on Tim Blair's website...

TimT said...

PS, it's alright being a blogger. Just so long as you don't get involved in disgraceful activities such as trolling, RWDB thuggery, or Degenerate Cat Blogging...

TimT said...

Splatter, please... there are ladies present...

Anonymous said...

It's always a well-meaning friend isn't it?

"Here's my blog address." they say, handing you a mysterious and folded piece of paper. "You should try it out one day."

Curiosity gets the better of you.

"Nothing wrong with experimenting -- just this once."

You decide it can't hurt. You take a look. And before you know it you're signing up.

"Just a hobby." you say. "It's nothing. Once or twice a week. I've got it under control."

But no . . . your well-meaning friend has ruined you forever. If only you knew they never had your interests at heart.

Soon, you're hitting up every night, even logging in at work. Your eyeballs are swollen. Fingertips are bruised. Your complexion a ghostly white.

The telltale signs are all there. But you still deny it to your friends. You reassure them it's just a phase you're going through. Even when you're hocking your mother's silverware to increase your bandwidth. Stealing other people's ideas to quench your thirst for subject matter.

It's sad really. You just have to face facts. You're a bloghead. Pure and simple. A downright, dirty, filthy bloghead.

saga said...

it's ok Tim....just mind that you avoid using bloglines to track all the blogs, and don't entertain the thought of audio or video-blogging, and you'll be fine...

....off to sample the audio blog...

Anonymous said...

Very nice. Keep up the good work.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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