Wednesday, March 01, 2006

An Unuseful Phrase

"You're about as useful as a fart in a jam jar!" she exclaimed to her husband towards the end of the film Imagine Me and You.

Pretty dumb line, if you ask me. If she had really wanted to call her husband an arsehole, why didn't she just call him an arsehole? And besides, the line is inaccurate. A fart in a jam jar would be very useful.

The phrase "About as useful as a fart in a jam jar" should be banned.

UPDATE! - It was a terrible film, by the way. Take my advice and save yourself the ten dollars and one and a half hours by doing something more entertaining and edifying, like banging your head against a brick wall.


Caz said...

I think it's the 11th & 12th sins to go and see films like that one Tim. (I've read the story line.) Now go stand in a corner and give yourself a flogging.

TimT said...

I know, but there weren't any good films on, and I don't have a DVD player. And some films that look like they'll be terrible actually turn out to be excellent; you have to risk it sometimes.

Caz said...

Tim - seriously time to buy a DVD player; you can pick one up for a couple of hundred.

I really don't like the idea of you taking these types of risks, you already have enough problems.

Rachy said...

I know someone who bought a DVD player for under $100 over one year ago and it still works like a treat to this day

TimT said...

Caz - thank you ever so much for your concern. It means a lot to me.

Rachy - seriously, I'll probably get one soon, but not this week. I've got musical instruments to worry about ...

Incidentally, the big selling point in that film is a bit of girl-on-girl action, but they even do that terribly. It would have been great to see these two lipstick lessos frolic around naked in the bedroom, but nooooooo. All you get is a pash in the back closet.

No wonder Stratts and Pommo didn't like it.

Caz said...

Tim - oooh, yeeeesss, I had already figured out that there could be but one reason you went to see it, but it's a rom-com, you should have known it wasn't going to be a Mulholland Drive.

I accidentally watched a bit of "The L Word" on teevee the other night. Holy crap! Who would have thought there were that many lesbians in the world, AND that they run into each other all day long & fall about having sex every where. Just like in the average hetro porno film. I never knew. See, that was educational. Rom-coms are not educational.

TimT said...

To this day I can't figure out why the Department of Education haven't taken up my suggestion that 'The L Word' be played to children in school...

I guess what you should expect in a romantic comedy is a bit of love and a bit of laughter. Well, none of the cast were up to either of those. In the absence of either, a bit of lust would have been nice. It would have made the film a bit more interesting, anyway.

I don't see why I shouldn't go and see a romantic comedy; as long as I enjoy a film, I don't care what genre it is. Bridget Jones (the film) was good; Bridget Jones (the book) was freaking hilarious.

In The Age a few weeks ago was an interview with some pretentious Melbourne filmmaker. He was asked what he did on the weekend, and his response was something like this:

"I admit, we [my wife and I] see films. Romantic comedies are a guilty pleasure ..."

Fuck that. I'm sick and tired of inner-city wankers who have all these 'guilty pleasures'; they're just being dishonest. It's like the binge-eater who is continually promising themselves they'll give up chocolate - tomorrow.

Caz said...

I've seen as many rom-coms as the next person, including many that I KNEW were going to be b BIG waste of my life, so it's not the genre I object to, indeed, where would we be without rom-coms? A much lesser world I think.

It's only this particular film I'm picking on.

But then, I find Bridget Jones repellent as a character, and 100% unconvincing as a romantic interest for any man in his right mind. (I know - her character is loved & adored by millions of people around the world!)

"The Secretary" - now THAT was the perfect rom-com!!

TimT said...

Well, you were right about that film.

I think there's a personality cult that's developed around Bridget Jones. Many people I know hate her, lots of other people love her; not sure why, exactly. All I can say is the film seemed to me to be reasonably well done and the books were brilliant. The main difference between the film and the book was that Bridget came off much better in the book - smarter, funnier, and much more eloquent. (The sequel - now, that's another question. As a film, it was terrible; as a book, it was pretty bad. The postmodern-style 'interview' with Colin Firth was awful.)

The Secretary: fine film, very fine.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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