Saturday, September 08, 2007

This rental life

This morning I blearily stumbled out of bed and down the hall until the kitchen got in my way. Finding that I didn't have enough of my own coffee, I grasped blindly among the plastic tupperware at the top of the fridge until I found my flatmate's bag of year old coffee. Yawning madly, I scraped the mould off the top of the coffee, threw away the coffee, and drank the mould. I know better than to put year-old coffee into my stomach.

Perhaps this may shock you, but if you don't tell my flatmate he won't know. After over a year renting the same place, I've become completely barbaric in my ways. I sleep on sackcloth and ashes at night, though in the past month or so I've had to throw my sackcloth away. Meanwhile, the situation with my books is becoming ridiculous. I've taken to stacking them up in the fridge and the freezer. The other day, I caught my flatmate cutting up a thin stew based on two volumes of Herodotus, having only before finished mopping up the gravy with an original copy of Aristophanes The Wasps. It was only after the strongest denunciations and the fiercest perorations that I was able to persuade him to have it with salt.

All this is by the by, one of the joys of sharehousing. But I have to admit, when my flatmate started grumbling to me the other day about cleaning and bills and a List of Duties that we both had to draw up, I said to myself, "Tim: it's time to move out."
After all, if I'm going to keep paying the bills, I want the pure masochistic thrill of having my last cent wrung out of me by electricity executives and water bureaucrats all to myself.

I'll keep you updated...


Caz said...

I'll pray for you.

Caz said...

In my own atheistically absent minded manner.

Dale Slamma said...

Maybe you could win the lottery and buy a lovely house all of your own?

Just an idea.

nailpolishblues said...

Nothing like the List of Duties to make one feel as though one is living with one's menopausal mother. I assume it's worse when a boy does it.

Living with people sucks.

TimT said...

Yep, winning the lottery and buying a grand little hovel for myself is certainly an important chapter in my prospective biography.

nailpolishblues said...

Ah, a house of one's own...with a fucking enormous library.

Steve said...

Tim, many years ago I read a New Yorker article about a man who, as a sort of hobby, used to sneak around and try to get into the (not open to the public) roof areas of skyscrapers. I seem to recall he found it easy to get inside the art deco decoration on the top of the Chrysler Building, for example. (This was well and truly before 9-11, and I suppose he would risk being shot these days.)

Anyway, for a good magazine article, or at least blog post, I reckon you should try secretly sleeping overnight in a corner of the State Library.

Maybe you shouldn't take a sleeping bag, and just claim a medical condition if you are caught. Don't blame me if you end up with a criminal record that prevents your next trip to the States, though.

This doesn't have much to do with the main thrust of your post: it was just brought to mind as something unusual a man who loves books could do.

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