Sunday, September 30, 2007

WTFF Classifieds

Quick brown fox seeks lazy dog to jump over all day, every day as part of a project for the entertainment and education of typists and students of grammar. No time-wasters, please - a previous lazy dog was so lazy that it did not, in fact, bother to turn up for the job. Another lazy dog decided to start jumping over the quick brown fox, which quickly made for an angry quick brown fox and an unemployed lazy dog. Whilst its initiative was appreciated, it's inability to stick to the task at hand was not.

The following candidates are also ruled out:

- Quick dogs
- Brown dogs
- Quick brown dogs
- Jumpy dogs
- Lazy foxes
- Foxy dogs
- Part-time dogs
- Poodles.

Previous experience in Administration is also desirable.

The quick brown fox is an equal opportunity employer. Please reply by the close of business, Monday.


alexis said...

It occurs to me, in my infinite vulgarity, that "W.T.F." can stand for words other than "will" and "type" and "food". Insert an extra "F" in amongst those words and I can only assume it stands for "flying".

TimT said...

An acronymically accurate observation, professor! A peril we all fall into from time to time, I suspect (easy to mistake an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting for an Automobile Association meeting, for instance).

I must admit, a similar thought had crossed my mind when typing the title, but one should never let vulgarity get in the way of a good - or bad - title.

David said...

Get in the way of?! Surely, chaps, vulgarity is the very capstone (indeed, crapstone?) of the edifice that is tabloidal headline writing (with more hooks and crooks than the Shepherds' Fishing League).


alexis said...

"My name's Gerry, and I have a car addiction."

TimT said...

You could easily get confused and start trying to snort the cars.

TimT said...

Indeed, David. Maybe it's time we had another Craption Contest around here.

Whoever wins the title for the worst Craption could get Conflatulations from the rest of the commentators.

Blue Valentine said...

I've been to Crapstone, but I've never been to me!

TimT said...

Right then, that's on my itinerary of places to visit - Paris, Venice, Rome, London, New York, Crapstone.

blue valentine said...

You can sneer all you please, but, given that there's what used to be a maximum security prison in the middle of Dartmoor and Crapstone is just outside the Dartmoor National Park, one fancies that some may have been quite transported by their first glimpse of Crapstone.

May I also suggest that you jot down the Cornish seaside village of Looe?

TimT said...

I've never been to Looe, but I've been to Dunedoo, several times.

blue valentine said...

I, alas, have never been to Dunedoo, although I hear the serenity there is quite something at this time of year. I'm sure I at least glanced in the direction of Dunedoo whilst standing on the cliffs of Looe, so I have been there in spirit.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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